Finding a match despite higher pay?

[Shreya]

Hi, I'm a 26‑year‑old female working in core equity research at an investment bank. I haven't joined any arranged‑marriage apps yet, but many colleagues tell me that a lot of men on those platforms are looking for a homemaker or someone who earns far less than them.

I'm not trying to generalise, but I want to set my expectations straight before I sign up.

So, women who are on arranged‑marriage platforms - do you face this? What do the men you match with expect? Do they want you to quit your job or think your career is less important?

Men on arranged‑marriage platforms - what are your expectations from a partner regarding income and household responsibilities?

P.S. I know preferences are personal, but I'd like to hear different views on this.

[Hemant]

In my view, your ₹ salary is an asset, not a burden. The only guys who see it as an issue are those who want a housekeeper and filter out anyone with a degree. The right match will treat your earnings as the base of a dual‑income, financially independent home.

[Kishore]

When both partners earn, I think household expenses should be divided in proportion to our incomes, and chores should be shared based on the free time each of us has.

[Shilpa]

Speaking as a man, I'm not really bothered about how much my partner makes - everyone's view can differ. What matters to me is steering clear of the attitude that my money is mine, but my husband's money belongs to the family. A healthier way is to think of us as a family whose combined resources are shared.

[Nikita]

Look, some of us get rejected straight away because we earn less, never even get a chat. I'm in a decent company, just not a high‑paying industry. It feels like there's no winning.

[Sumit]

I've noticed many men list a partner income of less than 7 LPA on apps, yet they still message me even after I state I earn over 20 LPA. I haven't followed up to ask why.

[Bhavin]

I think the preference ultimately lies with the woman - whether she works or not - but it also depends on the lifestyle she wants to lead.

[Advik]

In my case, finances rarely come up in arranged‑marriage talks because I run a small business in a tier‑2/3 city and most matches are through personal connections. Once, a girl working in a tier‑1 city, likely earning much more than me, asked if I'd move with her. I agreed, but she said she'd cover rent and bills until I could set up there. She eventually turned down the proposal.

[Tanya]

That wasn't an issue for me because when I met my husband I was earning very little, and over time our incomes have swapped - sometimes he earned more, sometimes I did. It's important to be clear about what you want, especially if you plan to continue your career.

Being upfront will filter out men who can't handle a partner earning more. It may shrink your pool, but it's better to know early since circumstances change. Even if you're not earning more now, you might in the future, and you need someone okay with that. Like another commenter said, whatever you bring becomes a shared family asset, so having that conversation is crucial. Marriage is about pooling resources, and you both need to agree on what that means.

[Mohaideen]

Look at what you can bring to the table versus what he brings. Compare the two and find where you're most compatible. This logic holds true whether you're on a love‑marriage or an arranged‑marriage platform.

[Amit]

You might want to chat with that FAANG guy on Jodi Milan - he's looking for a wife who earns more and is aged 25‑31.