Men & periods: lack of knowledge, empathy or belief women’s issues aren’t important?

[Sakshi]

Long post. I don't care if you call me a misandrist after this, but I've had enough of Indian men.

My dad has a UTI and has been struggling with it. I can't understand his behaviour – it's like the dad from Piku Pro Max. Yesterday I was driving dad and mom for errands – bank, grocery, temple, coffee shop, etc. I was keeping a decent speed (not too fast or too slow, because both disrupt traffic and can get a ticket), but dad kept nagging me to drive slower.

Then he said something that really set me off: "You don't know what it's like to be all itchy down there, feeling like something's about to come out." I didn't want a fight, so I just rolled my eyes and kept driving in silence. Mom got angry and replied, "Really?? Doesn't she know? Women know that feeling way better than men ever will!" I jumped in and told dad, "Yeah, I've been feeling that every month since I was 23." Almost every cis woman knows this feeling – standing up after sitting long, driving fast or slow, or just sitting still while something's fighting to get out.

Dad just said, "Arre!?! Let it be." It hit me how clueless he is about menstruation even at almost 70, despite having a mother, sister, wife, three daughters, two nieces and several female friends. I grew up in a fairly liberal family. We didn't treat periods like the end of the world. We couldn't attend religious events during our periods, that was it. Being an atheist, I even saw it as a relief to skip rituals that made no sense to me and chill in my room.

Later I started taking NSAIDs for period pain – two over‑the‑counter ibuprofen pills on day 1 and 2 gave me a decent period because my cramps are usually mild. I had already moved out, so my parents didn't dictate my medical choices. The last time they visited me during my period, dad acted like I was doing cocaine. He whined, "Why do you need to medicate the problem when the pain is mild?" Daddy, I'm not a soldier and I don't earn medals for enduring unnecessary pain.

I'm annoyed, hence the rant. I do feel for my dad's situation – I went to multiple pharmacies, took time off work, got sprays, ointments, gauze, cotton balls, pills – everything he needs is right next to his bed. I just wish he would return the favor and not treat period pain as something trivial or expect me to "power through" it. My guy friends and ex‑partners have always been sympathetic.

I think men should learn about periods as early as girls learn about the "good touch, bad touch" and the proper names for their private parts. Girls are getting periods earlier these days, so boys should know the basics by around age 10, and girls should know them even sooner in case it happens early. In college, my then‑boyfriend asked me shyly what actually happens, and I was embarrassed to explain. These men are old enough to vote, drive, drink, fight for the country, get married and have families, yet they don't know a basic thing about female anatomy! And the same men make laws about menstrual leaves and reproductive rights.

I don't blame my ex for asking, nor my dad personally, but I blame the mindset he was raised with – unwilling to unlearn it and quick to judge me for taking a couple of ibuprofen pills a month for comfort. If men had to deal with a health issue one week a month, I'd educate myself and try to make them comfortable instead of treating it like the end of the world.

I see posts where men say things like "If she has her period on her wedding night, divorce her", "Why can't women just hold it in like urine?" or "It's only happening because women started eating meat". Seriously?!

I grew up in Mumbai, a so‑called "safe" tier‑1 city. I got my first period while walking home from college. I had to rush to a pharmacy and bought a pack of Whisper pads. My sisters had moved out and my mom was post‑menopausal, so I was the only one with period products. I asked the shopkeeper not to hide the pack in a newspaper or a black bag – I just carried it. A bunch of guys stared and laughed as I walked the few minutes back to my parents' flat. That really happened, not some movie scene.

I used to think things had improved after I left India. I'm proud that women have access to legal, safe, cheap abortions here, but the recent debate on menstrual leaves made me realise I was naïve. I was blinded by the privilege of coming from a liberal city and family.

Rant over. Sorry for the rambling.

[Bharat]

And remember, women are more prone to UTIs than men.

[Arnav]

Unstructured!! Your write‑up is extremely articulate.

[Prakash]

Agreed with all of it.

[Radhika]

Lol, this is so relatable ❤️. It's the "me with a cold" vs "my husband/boyfriend with a cold" vibe.

I've started whining, crying, complaining with zero shame during my period. At home, the tiniest inconvenience makes me scream a high‑pitched "aaah", and any random cramp does the same. I know they're not exactly quiet when the flu hits, so I got inspired.

We've spent too long pretending it's no big deal. We need to take it seriously first – another societal conditioning mess we have to clean up.

[Radhika]

I sometimes feel it's our fault because we don't actively talk to them about our struggles.

Even if they don't listen, I keep talking. Even if they change the topic, I continue.

I need them to understand how it feels. They need to know. The men in my life need to understand what I go through.

We have to be adamant and keep talking about it, even if they are dismissive or uncomfortable.