23M asks gf (22F) to avoid a guy she trusts—she won’t stop. What to do?

[Sandeep]

Hey Reddit,

I'm a 23‑year‑old guy and my girlfriend is 22. We've been together since 2021, but we've known each other since 2016 and have been best friends since 2018, so there's a long history.

In 2023 she became friends with a lad (23M) – let's call him Mo – through another friend. Mo later got close to her best friend (23F), whom my girlfriend introduced him to.

That relationship started because of him. He chased her for about a month, called her cute names and seemed a bit interested. She eventually agreed to date him, but he broke up abruptly, saying his dad told him his mom wouldn't accept the relationship because she's from a different caste and a low‑income background. That breakup really hurt her friend.

Even after that, my girlfriend stayed friends with both of them and kept supporting them. The problem for me is that I don't like Mo because of how he treated her friend. The girl he dated is also my school friend, and I'm uncomfortable seeing the person I love hanging around a guy like that. On top of that, my girlfriend once called him "perfect boyfriend material".

Just so you know, I'm not generally opposed to her having male friends. In college she used to hang out with boys and even get dropped off on their bikes – I never minded that. The only time I raised an issue was with this particular guy, because I genuinely don't trust him after what he did. When I brought it up, she called me narrow‑minded and insecure.

After Mo broke up with her friend, I told my girlfriend clearly that I didn't like him at all and asked her to stop hanging out with him.

But it happened again:

First time – she went out with a group of friends and Mo was there. He later dropped her home. When I asked, she said she forgot my request. I let it slide.

Second time (Nov 9) – she told me she was going out with friends and Mo was one of them. The others cancelled last minute, so she ended up going with him alone. He dropped her home again. This led to a big fight and she promised not to do it again.

Third time (Dec 28) – she went to his house with a group of girls. He dropped her home again. When I asked, she first said she booked a Rapido, but after I kept pressing she admitted he actually dropped her.

During our arguments she keeps saying he's "not a threat" and asks why I'm worried. She also says he's "like a brother" to her and calls my jealousy unnecessary. She tells me he comes from a good family.

She claims the solo outing was only because the others cancelled and that she hasn't met him since the breakup, so she treats him like any other friend.

All this has been going on for about four months and she still refuses to see it as a mistake. She says she did nothing wrong and continues defending him.

I posted about this before, but she said I left out details, so I'm adding everything here.

So, honest opinion: am I wrong for asking her to stay away from a guy I think isn't a good person? Or is she right that I can't tell her who to keep in her life?

From an outside view – who's in the wrong?

TL;DR: My 22‑year‑old girlfriend kept friends with a guy who hurt her best friend after a short‑lived relationship. I asked her to stop seeing him, but she's met him three times (once in a group, once alone after others cancelled, and once after visiting his house) and he dropped her home each time. She even lied about how she got home. She says he's "like a brother" and not a threat. Am I wrong for wanting her to stay away?

[Sagar]

The more you try to push them apart, the tighter they cling together. Rip

[Chandni]

You're not wrong, bro. In a relationship both partners set boundaries. You set yours, and they weren't respected. It's time for a clear talk with her, and if nothing changes, end it for good.

[Naman]

Better to leave her; more fights will come. I would have broken up after the second time she met him.

[Amitabh]

Bro, just detach. Watch it happen and walk away if you need to.

[Mayank]

The more you try to push them apart, the tighter they cling. Set your boundaries, respect them, or move on.

[Vaishali]

If she never wanted to cut off that friend, she should have told you straight away instead of pretending to agree to cut contact three times. That's crossing a boundary.

[Aryan]

Hang out with another girl if your gf questions you, call out the hypocrisy, lol. Or better just leave her; she doesn't deserve you.

[Sneha]

You know what, man? Start hanging out with girls too. Heard this story many times, fire on fire!

[Shivendra]

Break up. It sucks, but you can't trust her.