My crazy AM story – dodged a bullet.

[Saad]

I dodged a bullet in an AM setup, but now I have serious trust issues. Here's my recent AM story. I know it's a bit long, but please read the whole thing; the twists are worth it.

So I (25 m) met this girl (23 f) through an AM setup. I kinda knew her already because her family lives close to my town and we have mutual friends. Her uncle's shop is right next to my dad's showroom, and they know each other. The guy who brought this rishta to us is a very old family friend, someone I've known since childhood.

But I had never really talked to the girl before.

After he brought the rishta, her family asked for my birth details to match kundli, and surprisingly it was a near‑perfect match (34/36). Our astrologer confirmed it. My family started taking it seriously; my mom showed me her photos and biodata, and I liked what I saw, so I thought about moving forward.

First meeting – they invited us to their house. We didn't talk much that day, but I was still interested if she felt the same.

Here's where it gets interesting. As soon as I got home, a close friend called and asked if I had seen the girl (I hadn't told anyone yet). I was shocked – how did he know? He said she's already dating someone for the last 8 years, outside her caste, and suggested I let it go. In our small town everyone knows everyone.

I was surprised, but I thought it might be a rumor, so I decided to verify it myself. I had to travel for a week, and if the rumor was true she would say no and it would be over.

I returned after a week, and a few days later on a Sunday they asked if they could come over since I was back. My father said yes. I thought it would be best to ask the girl directly about the rumor, in case there was family pressure.

They came over, and after a while they sent us upstairs to chat. The conversation was great – our mindsets were similar and we both love travelling. We laughed a lot and it felt natural. She's also very beautiful, which attracted me.

I jokingly asked her about the rumor and she said the guy who called my friend had been chasing her for years, so I didn't need to worry. That reassured me.

After they left, my friend called again, asking if they had come. I still hadn't told anyone, so I was again surprised how he knew. I assumed the other guy was toxic and I could trust this girl, but I still wanted to do my due diligence.

A few days later I followed her on Instagram; she followed back and liked some of my stories. I texted her, we talked for half an hour and she seemed interested. After chatting I had to go to the gym, so I told her I'd talk later.

Now the biggest twist that messed me up completely. My friend (the one who called earlier) called right after the Instagram chat and asked me to come to his shop. It was on the way to the gym, so I went without thinking. When I got there, her boyfriend of 8 years was sitting there.

We sat down and he told me something that blew my mind. He knew everything we had talked about when we were alone at my home – the chats, my upcoming Bali trip, even my last message about going to the gym.

He showed me call logs, recent pictures, chats – everything. She had even shared screenshots of my chats with her from just an hour ago.

Turns out the girl was lying. The guy was listening in on our conversation. He proved it with call logs that matched her number.

Even worse, her uncle and the guy who brought the rishta already knew about this. My family and I were clueless. I trusted the girl because the family friend who brought the rishta is someone I have a strong bond with. Everyone in their locality knew the truth.

Her uncle has been forcing her to marry someone from her caste, which is why she showed interest in me. I was stupid enough to believe her and her family and ignore a good friend's warning.

It's not her relationship with that guy that bothers me; I don't care about that as long as I stay out of it. It's the lies and deception. Not just the girl, but her family and the guy who brought the rishta hid the truth from us.

If I hadn't discovered this, my life would have been ruined because she actually loves the other guy and was faking interest in me.

I'm not sharing this to scare anyone, just to remind you to do your due diligence and background checks before trusting others.

Take care.

[Karan]

Good that you were saved from all that trouble – heartbreak, divorce, alimony, 498A cases, even ending up dead in a blue drum. Thank your stars and always do your due diligence, even when things look fine. Speaking as someone who was cheated on and divorced.

[Harendra]

Good...this is why due diligence matters.

[Ira]

This wouldn't have happened if her parents had just accepted her boyfriend. No trauma for anyone. Such a stupid Indian mindset.

[Vinod]

OMG, that's horrible. Trusting anyone has become so hard these days. How can someone who's known your family for years bring a rishta like this? The girl and her boyfriend are both a‑holes. If you're in love, just run away, get married and no one will oppose it. Why waste anyone's time because of your inability to take the risk?

[Shruti]

You should definitely tell the guy who brought the rishta that a serious conversation is needed. He and that uncle deserve an earful, and the girl who hid the truth from you too.

[Anupama]

The old guy who brought the rishta, keep him under your thumb... the rest, you're already smart enough.

[Payal]

Does marrying a girl at 28‑29 lower this risk?

[Shekar]

I tell guys that girls can fake interest and love if they want to settle down and trap a provider for life. Their love is only genuine when they give you their first love or stay with you even without material benefits. Your very existence is the gift to her...choose wisely, fellas.

[Omkar]

Women can be wild sometimes.

[Bhavya]

This is why, as a guy, gaining experience with women matters. Many can fake interest.

As a guy, ALWAYS
- screen for genuine, burning desire. If you're not that guy, at least settle for respect.
- enter a relationship on YOUR terms, not what family, friends, or elders dictate.

Do it yourself; no one's going to save you.