Landed first dev job, but feeling undeserving

[Sangeeta]

I finally landed my first dev job after years of trying, but now I'm feeling like I don't really deserve it

I've been working as a backend engineer for the past 11 months, and honestly, I feel like a total fake. From day one, I've been relying heavily on AI tools like Cursor and Claude to get my work done. Most of the time, I'm building APIs and completing tasks using AI suggestions, and it's made me realize that I haven't actually learned much in the last year. Last week, Cursor stopped working, and I had a task to finish, but I couldn't do it without AI. My senior and colleagues noticed this too, and they told me straight up that I'm too dependent on Cursor. It was hurtful, but they're probably right. I've already struggled a lot to get to this point - I graduated in 2023 but only got my first job in 2025 after failing multiple times in interviews. Now I'm starting to feel like maybe coding just isn't for me. I feel dumb and not intelligent enough compared to others around me. The problem is, I don't have another option - I come from a lower middle class family, and my parents are counting on me to do well. I want to support them and make their life better. My real dream was always to build a career around travel, but that's not financially possible right now. Right now, I'm stuck in a ₹2.5 LPA job, feeling anxious all the time, and questioning if I'm even capable of doing this career. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Is it possible to recover from this and actually become good at coding, or am I just forcing something that's not meant for me?

[Vikram]

I'm getting emotional just thinking about it

[Tanya]

Dude, ₹2.5 LPA is really low, feels like companies are taking advantage of us

[Shalini]

Bro, I was facing the same problem - using too much AI makes you feel dumb, but you're not. You're able to use AI agents, which means you know the fundamentals - you're just rusty. I suggest doing a side project in your free time from scratch without using AI, and only using it if you get stuck. I found that it helps me regain my muscle memory, and I hope it'll help you too.

[Abhishek]

I'd be okay with a ₹2.5 LPA salary too, bro... how did you manage to get that?

[Dev]

You should start attending interviews after completing one year, and you'll feel even worse than you do now. The thing is, you learn from the interview process, and you learn to crack interviews by attending them. You'll learn a lot in that process. Alternatively, you can try grinding on LeetCode, watching YouTube tutorials on how to make simple apps in your tech stack, and copying them line by line. After two or three small projects, you'll be golden, and it'll only take about 2 weeks (not counting LeetCode, though).

[Vikram]

Dude, at least you're getting some money - I didn't even get that during my 6-month internship.

[Gopal]

Don't worry, the goal is not to learn, but to make money - try to get as much money out of the company while putting in minimal effort

[Tanya]

Bro, most freshers in my company are in the same situation - they can build a whole YouTube or Facebook with Cursor, but struggle with simple CRUD without it. And it's not their or your issue - our managers and bosses just tell us to use Cursor and get it done quickly. They only care about the money, not your development or growth. You'll have to take ownership of that yourself. And if you don't use AI tools, you'll fall behind. You'll have to make time to build your own concepts and skills. You can still build stuff using Stack Overflow and Google without AI, and it's a more rewarding feeling.

[Mohan]

I'm going to be straight up with you - don't be your parents' retirement plan. Yes, take care of them and provide some financial stability, but you're not their ATM machine. This will ruin your marriage and kids' future. But hey, if you end up making ₹5-10 cr, then go for it.

[Priya]

I'm in a similar situation, bro - I'm not able to deliver work on time, and my team lead and manager are super toxic. I don't have an option to leave the job because I come from a lower middle class family. Every day feels like a struggle, wondering when things will get better. I thought of preparing for government exams and recently started preparing, but I'm not able to manage my job and exam prep. All I feel is tired all the time.