30F Story: Man I Almost Married

[Pooja]

Back in 2020, I met a guy at work and we clicked instantly. We liked the same music, had great chats and felt a rare connection. Over time I fell for him - not because he was handsome, but because of who I thought he was.

We were together for three years. During that time I supported him emotionally, mentally and sometimes financially when he was struggling. I never minded because I truly loved him and believed we were building a future.

Later we both got into our postgraduate programmes and decided to get married. Convincing my family wasn't easy, but I fought for the relationship and after a lot of effort we got engaged.

That's when everything changed. Almost immediately after the engagement his behaviour shifted. He started having expectations about money and expensive arrangements, and the caring partner I knew seemed to disappear. Eventually he broke up, saying it wouldn't work and accusing me of things that weren't true.

Years later I discovered something even more painful: before getting engaged to me he wasn't fully invested and was interested in another girl. Today he's married to her.

What hurts isn't just the breakup - it's realising I gave my heart, time, support and trust to someone who may never have valued the relationship the way I did.

So I'm left wondering: after something like this, how do I learn to trust again? And will I ever find someone who chooses me wholeheartedly?

[Shekar]

It's incredibly traumatic when the person you fought for turns out to be a completely different version of who you thought they were. Try not to blame yourself for trusting him or supporting him. Your ability to love deeply, give selflessly and support a partner is a beautiful trait - he was simply the wrong recipient for it. He used your kindness, and when it was time to step up he showed his true colours.

It's natural to look back and wonder if it was all a lie, but remember your love was real, even if his intentions weren't. You didn't lose him; you escaped a lifetime of carrying someone who never intended to carry you back. The fact that he met your support with financial greed and false accusations shows a deep lack of character on his part, not a lack of worth on yours.

To answer your question about trusting again, you don't start by trusting others, you start by rebuilding trust in yourself. Trust that you can survive disappointment. Trust that you can spot red flags earlier next time. And trust that your intuition is sharper now because of what you survived. Healing from this kind of betrayal takes time because it shatters your sense of reality.

You will trust again, but right now focus on rebuilding trust in yourself and your intuition.

You absolutely deserve to be chosen wholeheartedly.

[Vishal]

The only way to live a fulfilling life is to never love at your own expense. Be kind, stay calm, be generous, but protect yourself first. The world is brutal - the more you bend, the more people will use you. Be a good person and helpful, but always keep yourself a priority.

[Sakshi]

I feel you. It's good that he's no longer in your life, otherwise things could have gotten even more tragic.

One piece of advice - maybe I'm too young to say this - don't chase a guy at the cost of your mental peace.

If a guy truly likes you, he'll come to you, protect the relationship, put in the effort and make it work.

So yeah... sending you hugs!

[Dilip]

https://youtube.com/shorts/Njxz0N8lxaE?si=8z98VnZnw3wwoxM0

This beautiful short says that you can heal from this, move on and trust yourself again that you deserve everything you always wanted.

[Keerthi]

From my own experience, when a girl is always the one giving more in a relationship, there's a chance the other person starts taking her for granted. It can become, *'Ye toh ab kahi nahi jaane wali.'* We get so busy loving, caring and trying to build the relationship that we ignore the small warning signs. Sometimes you need to slow down, observe more and pay attention to patterns. Pyaar zaroor karo, but patterns bhi observe karo. We girls have strong instincts - we just ignore them when it comes to love.

[Gauri]

This is for you...

Maturity - accepting reality and moving on  
Common sense - understanding that you can't change the past  

How to forget someone?
You can only live with the fact that they wanted to change. So they changed. Now you can't do anything. You have to move on and be selfish for yourself, just as they became selfish and left you. We can't forget someone we love, but we can try harder to make ourselves happy by creating new memories. When new memories are built, the old ones will fade gradually and one day you'll be able to live fully in the present moment instead of the past or future.

The Train Station Theory
Life is like a train station. People come and go. Some stay for a few stops. Some ride with you for miles. Some leave before you're ready to say goodbye. But every person teaches you something, even if they're not meant to stay forever. The key is knowing when to hold on and when to let them catch their next train. Because not everyone is on the same journey, and that's okay.

#Muskurao by Nayab Midha
https://youtu.be/9an9KUNERRM?si=kZR-XicDsFTh5EkB

[Irfan]

Quoting my favourite movie dialogue: "We only accept the love we think we deserve." Whatever happened with you was absurd and you should stop rationalising it. You're hurt and looking for closure (which you'll never get). The absurdity of human emotions can't be explained by logic; people don't reason in love. You might have rejected men who could have been better than your ex.

So stop rationalising your past - it will only cause more pain. When the time comes and someone truly loves you for who you are, embrace them with open arms.

"We only accept the love we think we deserve."

[Devansh]

Reading this, the part that stood out to me wasn't that he left, but that he let you build a life around a future he wasn't equally sure about.

That kind of betrayal messes with your trust because it makes you question your own judgment, not just his character. And honestly, that's usually the harder thing to recover from.

As for being chosen wholeheartedly, the fact that one person couldn't do it doesn't make it rare. It just means you met someone who liked receiving commitment more than giving it.

[Arjun]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It must have been extremely difficult. Sending you all my love ❤️

[Aftab]

Girl, I heard this line once and it stuck with me... The other girl stole your problem, not your man! You dodged a bullet.