Feeling bad about myself, have I crossed a line?

[Daksha]

I'm feeling really bad about myself and I think I might have crossed a line I shouldn't have, am I in trouble?

So I'm a 19 year old girl, my parents love me and have always given me everything I wanted, but they're pretty old fashioned when it comes to some things. My brother, who's 28, just got married to my sister in law, who's also 28. The thing is, I didn't really get to know my sister in law that well until she moved in with us after the wedding. Please don't judge me, but I'm a lesbian, and no one in my life knows about it because I look really feminine and I even tried dating a guy in school because of all the pressure, but it didn't work out. My sexuality is a big problem for me. I started developing feelings for my sister in law the more I got to know her, and it doesn't help that she's really pretty and always at home when I get back. We hang out a lot, play badminton, and she's always really kind to me. It's been three months since she moved in, and at first I tried to talk to her a lot to make her feel welcome, but the more time we spent together, the more I started feeling attracted to her. I tried to avoid her, but she kept trying to hang out with me. I know this is wrong, and I'm really ashamed of how I feel. I've tried to move out, but my parents won't let me. I'm in a really tough spot, what should I do? Should I just give up?

[Deepika]

You should get a job and move out as soon as possible.

[Nikhil]

It's okay, but if your family finds out, it's going to be a big problem. I think you should just get over your sister in law and date someone else, because if your family reacts badly, it could ruin a lot of relationships. Just keep your distance, I know it's hard.

[Navya]

Being a lesbian is not an excuse, it's not like being straight means you'll start liking your brother in law or something

[Raghav]

Girl, you can't choose who you're attracted to, but you can definitely go out and find other hobbies or meet other queer women your age?

[Aravind]

It's not like you've done anything wrong yet, just don't act on your feelings and be respectful. Try to spend more time outside, make friends, and maybe find someone to date, the less time you spend at home, the less intense your feelings will get.

[Dhruv]

Can you go back to living with your grandma, it seems like it would be good for you to create some distance. I wish you could just talk to your parents about this so they could help you, but that's probably just wishful thinking.

[Kalpana]

Same here, I'm not able to see any comments, just try to lessen your interactions with her and don't think of her in that way, you have to respect your brother.

[Anupama]

You're only 19, you'll get over this

[Ashok]

OP, you're not in love with her, she's just the first woman you've spent a lot of time with who isn't family or from school. You've seen her personality and beauty up close, and it's just a crush. Nothing will ever happen between you two, she's your sister in law, not your girlfriend. The best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation, can you move back in with your grandparents or something? You can never tell anyone about this in real life, you'll be judged and seen as perverted, so you have to protect yourself.

[Ujjwal]

u/throwRArevenge6677 don't worry about the comments you're not seeing, they're top-level comments from men or new accounts that get automatically removed. Removal doesn't change the number of comments and it sometimes leads to confusion. The majority of comments are visible to you and I've approved a couple more helpful ones.