How can couples from socioeconomic backgrounds avoid feeling inferior? 24F 29M

[Tejas]

I'm not going to go deep into our backgrounds, but I've been with this guy for about 8‑9 months. He has anger issues and a lot of other problems, so staying with him hasn't been easy, yet for some reason we're still together.

I live in a rented apartment while he moved into his own flat about 6 months ago. His place is about 10 km away, so I go to his place because he says he can't come to my place after work and he doesn't like the area I live in. My neighbourhood isn't bad, but it's a tier‑2 part of the city, whereas he lives in a newly developed tier‑1 area.

Our work backgrounds are very different. He is a businessman from a well‑to‑do family, while I come from a lower‑middle‑class Indian family and work in IT, earning just enough to cover my expenses and save a little.

He often teases me about various things and I tease him back, usually about his behaviour, hygiene or health - the usual stuff. A few days ago I had to go back to my place to pick up an order and he got angry, saying rubbish things like, "people like you who make such poor decisions can't ever go far in life." It was Sunday night and he had told me to postpone the pickup. By now I'm used to his tantrums and know most of what he says is nonsense, even if he doesn't mean it. I admit it's still wrong and toxic.

Yesterday left me really dejected. I'm already under a lot of stress - I'm not moving anywhere, my parents seem a bit disappointed when they compare me to my cousins, and my mom wants me to do an MBA. I'm not struggling daily, but I haven't achieved anything big yet.

I forgot about our argument from the night before and went to his place. We were bantering, and in the past month he hasn't lashed out as much; he's been more controlled. But during our banter he said, "Tell me you don't have any 'shaukh' to come here when you can afford a house this big," and "You left me last night to pick up that mere 8k mattress." He laughed it off later, saying "chill, get over it, you also left me pissed last night."

I already have an inferiority complex, and hearing him put me down like that feels terrible. It makes me feel like I'll never belong in a society like his or afford such things, and that I should consider it a favour that he lets me stay at his place.

PS - For anyone wondering if I'm with him for money, no! I often buy him groceries, clothes, pay when we eat out, always pay for movie tickets, take him to events - everything is on me, never asked for a single penny from him.

[Nakul]

Healthy wealth doesn't need to constantly remind others of the gap. People who are secure in themselves don't weaponise money, class, housing or lifestyle differences to win arguments. A partner should make your struggles feel lighter, not confirm every insecurity you already carry.

[Damini]

Leave, sis. LEAVE. I'm 23F and I was in love with a guy who wasn't from a well‑to‑do family, and I never once felt the need to point out our status differences even during fights. No one who loves you or cares about you will do that. Would you do that to him if you were in his shoes? EXACTLY!! So, leave. He sounds like a major red flag.

[Mohaideen]

Baby, you're only 24! He's a 29‑year‑old jerk. If you're with him just for money, think again - he's never going to marry you. Bhai, woh tu jaha akele rehti hai, wahi nahi aapa ra, tujhe kya lagta hai woh tujhse shaadi karega, bhai woh tere ghar rishta mangne bhi nahi aayega. He looks down on you. I think you're pretty, that's why he's with you, otherwise he wouldn't stay. Please go, you don't deserve this, neither do your parents. He won't marry you. Been there, done that. If you keep staying, you'll end up depressed.

[Nath]

This isn't a wealth issue, you know that. It's a self‑worth problem. You could become richer, prettier or more successful, but this guy will never respect you.

[Farhan]

He sometimes may not mean those things. People always mean what they say. You're his punching bag and you might as well admit it.

[Vandana]

I think you need self‑esteem and self‑respect. Probably find a therapist. Anger issues and other problems on top of this, yet you're not leaving the person - something is definitely wrong with you.

[Payal]

Socioeconomic status issues aren't hard to handle for good people. Anger issues, on the other hand, no one can or should deal with.

[Vaishali]

Sorry to say this, but get out before it's too late for you emotionally.

[Shailesh]

Why are you dating a bully?

[Tanmay]

This sounds like my ex. We also had a six‑year age gap. Girl, your insecurities are why you're in the relationship. You can't see the red flags - same thing happened to me. He was too "settled" in his ways and used to give me tanas for almost every mistake. Glad that relationship didn't work out, otherwise I would've been depressed. Also, you're 24. By the time you're his age you'll be more settled and better off. Don't compare with him. Just think he's 29 and still like this - eww.