Childhood crush contacts after my marriage fixed

[Cricfan]

I am 27M. I had a childhood crush (26F) and we grew up in the same neighbourhood, often meeting in the evenings with other friends. About 2‑3 years back, by pure coincidence she got a job in the city where I work and her office was nearby, so we ended up living close to each other. We were already connected on Insta and FB, so we decided to reconnect and have been meeting regularly for the last 2 years.

I dropped hints and even asked her directly if she would be interested in dating. She laughed it off and said we are just good friends. I kept my feelings to myself and eventually got over it in 6‑7 months. We still met platonically, hanging out during tea breaks or at each other's houses during parties.

About a month ago, my parents arranged a match for an arranged marriage (AM). The girl I am talking to is the sweetest and most beautiful person I have ever met and I have no second thoughts. Our families are talking and marriage talks are underway.

As a friend, I told my childhood crush the news and her face instantly sank. Two days later she called to meet at our local tea spot and straight up confessed that she has liked me all this time but only realized it after I mentioned my marriage. She went on about how similar we are, how we grew up in the same area and how compatible we would be, and asked me to reconsider and date her.

I was speechless. I paid for the tea, told her it's too late now and left. I have zero doubts about my decision and will happily marry the person I am currently talking to. I don't want this to interfere in any way, so I stopped picking up her calls and began distancing myself.

Now I want to know from you all, why do some girls behave like this? What was her thought process behind confessing at this point? Was I just a backup option for her in case she didn't find anyone? Please help me understand.

[Devendra]

Don't chase that fleeting thing. Just go ahead with the one you have now.

[Mahima]

A lot of people think they like someone, when in reality they only like the attention that person gives them.

In your case, even if she says she likes you, from what you described it looks more like she likes the attention you give her. Now that your attention is shifting to someone else, she feels threatened.

So what should you do? Keep moving forward with your arranged marriage prospect. You already gave her a chance, and if she truly liked you, she would have shown it earlier, not only when your attention moved away.

So no, I would not circle back.

[Sameer]

I think you did the right thing.

[Benny]

By the looks of it, she just likes your attention and will lose interest once you two start dating. Saying this as a girl.

[Danny]

Bro, she's not in love with you. She only liked the attention she got from you. Now that you're moving on, she's scared she'll miss it. The worst part is she's guilt‑tripping you and trying to manipulate you into calling off your engagement. She wants to keep you on standby in case she doesn't find someone better. You are her safety net, not her love.

[Komal]

Yes. You were a backup. An afterthought. She is only doing this to keep you on a leash. Don't fall for it. You did the right thing by rejecting her and cutting her off.

If she had liked you, she wouldn't have rejected you. She wasn't attracted to you. She just liked the attention and now that you will be married, she is afraid she'll lose you. Well, too little too late.

You are better off without her, just move on with your life.

[Naresh]

She's not a good person. Marry the nice person you have in your AM setup.

[Ramesh]

Most girls just like the attention they get from guys. Since you are getting married, now she's feeling sad she won't get attention anymore, so she's willing to date you now. If she was really into you, she would have asked years before, not now!

If you actually date her by breaking off your arranged marriage match, she'll lose interest again.

[Deepika]

Politely decline her and cut off all contact.

[Jai]

You'd better cut her off completely, if you have respect for your future wife.