Feeling lost at 30 – need help

[Arnav]

I am 30 years old and feeling very lost in life.

I did a BCom and then took a customer service job because my family couldn't let me study further. I started with a salary of 25k per month and after almost 5 years of hard work I am now earning around 60k. Many may think that's not a good career, but I truly gave my best given the circumstances.

I am the only son. I have two sisters and a lot of responsibility for their weddings and supporting my parents. Because of all this, I could never risk leaving my job or doing full-time higher studies.

Now my sisters are married and my parents are looking for marriage proposals for me. But everywhere the same thing happens - people reject me because I work in customer service. Recently there was a proposal where the girl's family was financially struggling and her father runs a small general shop. We never demanded anything, treated them respectfully, but they still said no because of my job.

Seeing my parents sad hurts me more than the rejection itself. They worry about my future and I feel that no matter how much I worked or sacrificed, society only judges the job title.

At this point I feel mentally exhausted and sometimes think life is going nowhere and I should end it. I don't even know what I expect by posting here. Maybe I just wanted to tell someone how heavy everything feels.

[Danny]

Marriage isn't everything and there's no rule about a certain age. Keep working hard as you have been, and you'll find a partner sooner or later.

[Harini]

Tell them you work in Customer Success. You help customers succeed in their jobs.

[Aarav]

If it helps, I'm a 32-year-old male earning about 40 LPA at a big product company in India.

I've been looking for an arranged marriage for 4 years. I already own a house and have paid off my car. The market is tough and it's not about us men; many girls and their parents have unrealistic expectations.

They want the groom to be well-settled, living independently from his parents, and often set strict conditions like having kids after a few years and staying only in a metro city.

I came close to marrying graduate girls who didn't earn a single rupee, but I couldn't ignore the red flags.

In short, focus on building your own life. Save properly and create assets for your future. Don't wait for a woman to make you happy through marriage.

I'm on track to finish paying off my home in 3 years, after which I'll live freely on my own terms and travel without worries.

[Arjun]

A 60k salary is good. I'm earning 30k with 4 years of experience.

[Keshav]

Why not try dating? Thirty isn't old - it's practically the new twenty. Meeting someone organically, getting to know each other, and then moving towards marriage could be a better path.

[Madhu]

I'm 32 and earn 32k per month.

[Jatin]

Arranged marriage isn't the only option these days. You're earning well, so stop putting yourself down.

[Advik]

I think this is not just a notion but a fact. No profession is big or small. Some barbers and makeup artists earn lakhs, while others earn thousands. It's about being the best at what you do.

Switch to a better company or aim for a promotion. Just don't give up.

[Chirag]

I know you're exhausted and it's really frustrating right now. You said that seeing your parents sad hurts you the most, right? Do you think ending your life would make them happy? The next time that thought comes, picture their smiling faces and imagine how they'd feel if you were gone.

Marriage isn't the end goal of life, but living happily is. I'm sure your parents would rather have a single son who's alive than a dead one. It's better to marry late than to marry the wrong person. Think of each rejection as a filter that saves you from people who treat marriage as a transaction instead of companionship. Eventually the right partner will come.

[Dhruv]

A 60k salary with 5 years of experience isn't bad at all. I understand your situation, it's okay, don't worry. Marry when it's possible - it's tough when siblings are married and you're still waiting.