He says 'time to think' but never finds time to talk?

[Rani]

I (27F) recently had my very first arranged marriage meeting with a 29M who is well‑settled in his family business.

The meeting seemed great – we had a solid conversation, asked the right questions, and the vibe felt mutual. After the meet, his parents told mine, "We like the girl, but our son needs time to think."

It's been more than a month now. Zero effort, zero follow‑up, zero texts.

My question is: how can they be thinking about a person they met for just 60 minutes without actually trying to know them?

How can they decide if I'm "the one" or not while sitting in a vacuum? It feels like I'm a product on a shelf while he's waiting for a better discount or a newer model to drop.

If they need time, they should spend that time talking to me. If they're not making any effort to communicate, they're not thinking – they're just keeping me as a backup option while they window‑shop elsewhere.

Why has the arranged‑marriage process become so hypocritical? Why is "I need time" just code for "I'm ghosting you but I want to keep my parents happy"?

Has anyone else dealt with such absurd meetings?

[Siddharth]

It's normal, the journey will be more interesting - or rather depressing - than this.

[Shruti]

Pretty common in arranged marriages. You keep looking. When he comes back, make sure he gives a solid reason.

[Khushi]

Omg same! This really pisses me off too! If you're not interested just say so! Don't waste the other person's time and energy! This has happened many times with me and my friends and, for some reason, it's always the guys who take forever to talk and initiate communication! ♀ This is a fundamental problem with arranged marriages and needs to change! The surprising thing is, most guys will always come back! It seems they either don't prioritise the search process or they explore other options and return when those don't work out!

[Hari]

Girl, he's not interested. Move on, and don't entertain him if he returns. You deserve better!

[Arisha]

The dating process is the same. It's not unique to arranged marriages. The process is only as good as the people involved.

[Amar]

Yeah, I know people who kept looking for other options, didn't find anything better, and after two years started from scratch! Eventually they got married too.

[Rupali]

Because he's well settled, he'll get a hundred like you.

[Norman]

This is sadly today's reality! He's not making a decision... He's window‑shopping while keeping you on the bench.

In my experience I just gently poke a woman twice in the second week of silence because maybe the first week they were busy. I understand if they had a hectic week, but not two consecutive weeks.

I simply send them a message like this...

Hi xyz, it seems our values and priorities don't match. I wish you all the best in your search.

Done, rinse and repeat.

Thankfully I deleted the app and feel so free now.

Please take a break, OP. These things are extremely mentally taxing, especially if you're an overthinker like me.