Fiance prefers cars over auto, AC train or bus

[Shyam]

My fiancée and her family are huge car fans. She grew up riding her dad's, cousin's and brother's cars. The only time she used a private bus was during college, and she barely uses it now. She and her family look down on trains, autos and buses.  I don't own a car and wasn't planning to buy one. I usually travel inter‑city by AC train or AC bus, and within the city I take an auto for long trips, a two‑wheeler for short ones, and rarely a cab.  After the roka, I learned a car is non‑negotiable for her. We compromised: she'll buy a car after the wedding (I'm buying a 1.5 Cr flat). She wants an automatic priced around 20 L, provided the EMI fits, she can still chip in for household expenses and keep her savings/investments.  I have a licence but I'm not keen on driving. She likes driving, is a beginner, but wants to master it once the car arrives.  She says no one in her family uses autos, trains or buses – even relatives in Pune‑Mumbai avoid them. I first thought it was because her hometown has no train station, but she clarified it's a family preference.  Is a car really a must these days?  More details: I'll try to build confidence behind the wheel, but if I can't, she'll take the driving load. I won't be her personal driver, though she might later want a hired driver. Before roka we discussed expenses – she claimed she spends about 10‑15 K a month, but that was only her personal spend on makeup, salon, shopping and occasional travel while living with her brother's family. Her family doesn't let her pay for other household costs. I told her I prefer independent partners, so she'll have to cover her own expenses.  She knew I travel by train and auto, but never questioned it before roka, saying she thought bachelors travel any way they like. She believes everyone usually buys a car after marriage for family comfort.  She now earns 12 L (was 6 L earlier) and I earn 50 L.

[Jyoti.kumar]

Leave the car talk for later – first check your family's financial compatibility. A car is just one item. Ask her about vacation plans, dining preferences, gadgets, etc. Have those conversations. If you can't meet her expectations, think about savings priorities, child‑raising values and so on. After that, the car will likely be the least of your worries.

[Shekar]

Maybe a car is a must for her, not for you. Find a partner who shares your outlook, and let her find someone whose expectations match hers.

[Sanjay]

It's a fair ask and quite basic for many middle‑to‑upper‑class families. If you're not in the same class, consider marrying someone whose standards match yours.

[Omkar]

You'll face a lot of pain and suffering later if you go ahead with this. Fixating on a car is the smallest issue.

[Umesh]

Why wasn't this discussed earlier?

[Farhan]

That's her standard. If you can't meet it, be clear from the start. I wouldn't want my wife using a bus or train, especially in this country.

[James]

You might have lifestyle differences, but it's odd why your fiancée is compromising on her living standards.

[Simran]

Bro, one thing's clear – a car is a must in tier‑1 cities.

[Jai]

She's right – a car is essential. Cut down a meal or two if needed, but buy a car for the extra safety on Indian roads. Nobody else will look out for you.

[Aman]

Women's experience on public transport is a lot different. The staring, groping and unwanted touching make buses and trains uncomfortable for many women. I once asked a female friend to join me on a public bus instead of an Uber during rain‑y monsoon, and she said she'd pay double or triple for an Uber rather than face the bus. For many women, a car is more about safety and social protection than status.