Good son, now ₹65L+ debt – should I reset?

[Rupali]

I recently realised my parents are terrible at handling money. They keep taking loans, often without even telling me why. In the past I kept bailing them out by taking loans in my own name to stop them from defaulting, and now I'm drowning in debt. I tried to be a "good son", but I have to draw a hard line – no more loans.

All these loans are in my name, plus some in theirs, but I now want to fix my own situation and isolate myself. Any talk with them just hurts their ego and ends in verbal abuse.

Here's where I stand:

Salary      ₹1.4L/month
Total EMI      ₹95k/month
Expenses      ₹35k/month
Savings      ~₹10k/month

Home Loan      ₹32L (₹30k EMI)
Personal Loan   ₹27L (₹54k EMI, taken for parents' failed restaurant and shop)
Car Loan      ₹6.5L (₹11k EMI)

Even with a decent salary I feel trapped. This isn't an emergency like medical bills; it's mainly because of my parents' bad choices and lack of transparency. Conversations don't help, so I've accepted I must sort this out myself, especially since I got married two years ago and have a 6‑month‑old baby whose costs will rise soon.

I see two realistic paths:

Option 1 – Sell the flat
• Flat value ~₹55L
• After GST, sales tax and broker fees ~₹50L
• Use it to close the home loan (₹32L)
• Close ~₹18L of the personal loan
• Left with the car loan (₹6.5L) and ~₹9‑10L personal loan still pending
→ Much lower EMI, quicker reset, but lose the house.

Option 2 – Stay and aggressively prepay
• By Feb: arrange ₹9‑10L from savings, PF and gold
• Personal loan drops to ~₹15L (27‑10‑2)
• Then restructure and continue pre‑payments for about 4 years
→ Keep the flat, but stay under pressure longer.

My goal is simple: become debt‑free and regain control of my life.

What would you do in my shoes? Sell and reset fast, or hold the asset and grind it out? Open to any smarter strategies I might be missing.

[Saritha]

Who lives in that flat?

[Mayank]

Your home‑loan EMI is about ₹30K. If you sell, most of that will turn into rent (if you stay there) and you won't be able to get back into the housing market for a long time. The rent you pay will also be wasted – no equity building. Best to use your savings (PF, gold, cash) to cut down the personal loan and then restructure to pay it off faster. Keep 3‑4 months of expenses as a dry‑run emergency fund.

[Himani]

I'd pick option 1 for my sanity. Living on rent isn't a crime and is totally doable. I'm 30, my wife is 30, we married three years ago, both earn, and we're comfortable in a rented 1BHK in a decent society at a prime location.

[Ramesh]

If I were you, I'd go with option 2. Four years will pass quickly.

[Atharv]

Option 2 makes sense. The home‑loan EMI is roughly the same as rent. After four years you'll have no EMI or rent left. Once you gather the ₹9‑10L, the pressure on you will drop. Start by clearing the higher‑interest loans first and aim to close them early.

If you pick option 1, after you clear the other loans you'll still be paying the same amount as rent, but without any property. Buying a new flat later will push your EMI higher.

Bottom line: stop taking any more loans. Tell your parents to manage their business with whatever they have.

[Niraj]

If the flat is bigger, you could rent it out and move to a smaller place. That would improve your cash flow while you stick to option 2. Of course, it depends on your convenience and logistics.

[Payal]

Can you share your age, your parents' ages, and any siblings? Also their ages and incomes?

[Chetan]

Why not take a loan against mutual funds (LAMF) or FD and use it to repay the highest‑interest loan first, then the car loan? Loans against mutual funds usually come at around 10‑12% p.a. You'd still have two loans left, but at a lower interest rate.

[Nandini]

You're basically enabling their bad behaviour by constantly bailing them out.

Car Loan – ₹6.5L (₹11K EMI) – consider selling the car.

Personal Loan – ₹27L (₹54K EMI) taken for the failed restaurant and shop – liquidate all stock, supplies, shelving, freezers, utensils, etc. Recover as much as you can. Stop the rentals ASAP; if you own the space, sell it off.

After that, reassess. If the recovery isn't enough, just sell the flat for peace of mind.

Also, since you mentioned you got married two years ago, make sure you update all nominations – banks, mutual funds, insurance, PF, etc. Check for any joint accounts with your parents and close them.

[Suraj]

One idea is to get a top‑up loan for the maximum amount you qualify for and use it to clear the personal loan. A top‑up loan usually carries a lower interest rate, which can cut down your monthly EMI significantly. You can still opt for a higher EMI to shorten the repayment period.

Before you proceed, run the numbers to ensure you can comfortably handle the extra EMI. The loan tenure and interest rate will heavily affect your overall plan. Also, share more details about your personal loan and find out how much top‑up you can get from your bank against the home loan.