My (23M) parents spent 50+ lakhs for sister's (30F) wedding but told me to take an education loan for master's.

[Arif]

I am from a middle class family and we are 2 siblings - M23 and my sister F30. I was struggling with my career until recently I started finding good clients as a freelancer and I'm on the way to start my own agency/studio with a partner based in San Francisco.

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Up until now I haven't asked for much from my parents since I studied in a govt college my entire course expenses were just INR 15000.

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My sister however went to a private institute which costed upwards of 17 lakhs. Since she left home for college and after that for job, she has always consistently contributed to so much stress in the house. Sometimes because of her behavior, sometimes a guy and mostly just because of how insensitive and selfish she is. Even though she had been working, it wasn't much to sustain her lifestyle so she always borrowed around 15k monthly from my dad.

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now that she's finally getting married with a guy of her choice (again something her parents were stressed about) but the constant entitlement doesn't end.

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She didn't contribute a single penny for her marriage and my parents gladly spent 50 lakhs for her. this includes gold worth 20 lakhs which she will take away with her.

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I was planning on doing masters abroad since 2024 and now i feel like I have enough experience and understanding of what I want to do to actually start planning on pursuing it now.

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I asked my dad that it would cost around 12 Lakh to 50 Lakh in tuition alone depending on the country and college ranking. I ofc said I'll pay you back (guess I'm not as entitled) and that it was good since I'll only go if I'm able to get in one of the top universities.

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Guess what? He straight up said take an education loan and go. Pay it back yourself later when you start earning.

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idk what to think other than the fact that what I'm feeling right now is true abandonment and discrimination. Education is one of the things that make your life better, it's supposed to be something of an investment since it stays with you for life and even the future generations benefit from the connections you make.

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Marriage is not even a weeks affair, 3 days and half of your networth is vaporized in the bellies of naysayers we call society and loud music that ends before 11pm.

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Why are Indian parents so stupid and unfathomably unconcerned about education especially when it comes to the life of their sons? why constant favours for the daughter who clearly doesn't respect them?

[Kanchan]

remember jeetu from videocon !!!

follow his footsteps.  dakaaaaa

[Gauri]

they will also spend same amount for your wedding, but not to your masters

[Pavithra]

Such things enrage me.
For me, a wedding is just a party, and no amount of cultural or traditional argument will justify spending 50 lakh on it.
Education is far more important than an expensive wedding.

 It all feels like a way to show society, "Look, I have money see how grand a wedding I'm throwing for my daughter."


I've always told my mom and brother that if they're saving up for my wedding, they shouldn't spend it all on a party I don't even want. Instead, I'd rather they help me with my higher education—I'll pay them back—or use that money to buy a home for themselves

[Tarun]

They will for sure spend same amount on your wedding. Regarding masters, if they pay upfront, you wont take masters seriously and you wont go through any hardships which is required for you to be successful. Having a loan will keep you in check always and will be a good forcing function for you to take masters and pursue job seriously.

[Hitesh]

This is crazy, how parents from this generation still value what the world would have to say and doing things for a party that will be forgotten in a few years but they won't invest in their child and their education. It's crazy how parents have always been preparing for a daughter's marriage since she is born.

Really sorry for what you are going through - especially the feelings of abandonment. Try to find your own space for yourself in the world and move away from the actions of your parents. Whatever you decide, it may be difficult with a loan and financial support but things may eventually workout

[Sharmila]

Comparison is the thief of joy

[Pooja]

This is straight up discrimination, nothing else

[Anita]

I've been in your shoes (replace sister's wedding with buying an investment house) .. and man to man I have only one advice. Take this as a sign from god ans build yourself from scratch. It will teach you things nobody can, not even your parents. And more importantly, nobody can ever claim that you're what you are because of them. Build your own empire and be the king of it.

[Govind]

society ko impress karne ke liye kuch bhi

[Sahil]

This is your chance to say "F\*CK YOU, this is my life". Take a loan and go ahead..succeed in life, earn the money and u wont feel guilty to not spend it on them. The moment u start earning money, the same parents are gonna go gaga over it and feel that its your moral responsibility to give it to them. Guess what, you just freed yourself from that terrible future.  
Best of luck brother!