Am I observing this correctly for married men with kids & unmarried women ?

[Mukesh]

Hi, after working for a few years in the corporate world, I've come to a general observation, though I could be completely wrong.

It feels like two types of people tend to be relatively happier and also making steady social and financial progress -

1) married men with kids, and

2) unmarried women.

In the case of married men with kids, it seems like a strong sense of responsibility drives them. That responsibility often reflects in their work and overall approach to life.

For unmarried women, what stands out to me is the sense of freedom and independence. Being able to make choices without certain societal or family constraints seems to help them grow in their own way.

Again, this is a very broad observation and may not apply to everyone.

What I'm particularly unsure about is this it feels like many women today are genuinely okay with not getting married or having kids, and are comfortable with that choice. But with men, it often seems like they still want kids, not just for emotional reasons but sometimes linked to identity or ego.

I may be completely off here, so I'd really like to hear different perspectives.

[Harry]

I agree. For men they don't have to compromise when it comes to the traditional marriage set up. But for women, they have so many rules they have to follow. Naturally women would rather live for themselves than listen to others

[Madhu]

Happiness is individualistic. Married men with kids are happier because their partners are taking up a lot of responsibility. About unmarried women I think the ones who have escaped the shackles of patriarchy and are living their lives on their own terms are happier in general. Of course these are my personal opinions and I may be wrong

[Asha]

Married men with kids also have a wife, who generally takes care of the house ( even if they're working) thus providing men with the freedom to pursue their careers full time.

As a working mom who is still pretty career driven, everyday I think I'd be growing sooo much faster if I had a wife.

[Michael]

This might be confirmation bias. If married men with kids are happy and unmarried women are happy, then what does that imply about the wives of those men? Are they unhappy? And if so, are these men too self-centered to notice? How can they be happy when wives are unhappy . Isn't that what your conclusion is indirectly suggesting?

How do you know these people are actually happy? What are your metrics? Compared to whom? At what cost? From whose perspective?

Happiness has less to do with marital status and gender and more to do with the quality of relationships and self-awareness. People who are emotionally attuned, supported, and not stuck in unhealthy  dynamics tend to do better regardless of whether they're married or single.

In my experience, many women are realizing that a late marriage is better than a bad marriage. Women with autonomy, who have worked through their trauma, are more intentional about their choices.

I wish more men did the self work to unlearn the problematic views.The conversations I've been seeing from men about sex and marriage since that series came out have been disturbing. The past couple of weeks have broken my respect for men. I don't even want to talk to a men ever.

I know I need to detox from it all just to remind myself that these voices don't represent all men. But what's even more unsettling is the silence from mature men, where are the men calling this out? Why are women burdened with educating and raising men.

You cant desire men when you are in a parentified role with them.

[Varun]

*gestures to the world*


Who tf is happy in this? What kinda crack is being used?

[Aarohi]

Yeah not having a responsibility towards another person does make you happier. Married men with kids have wives who take care of them and the kids. Unmarried women don't have to deal with men who are unable to keep themselves alive

[Raghav]

Your observation is spot on. I remember reading an analysis on how marriage is beneficial for men and the percentage of happy men increases post marriage, whereas it goes down in case of women post marriage.

Men's household responsibilities are taken care by women post marriage and women's role just expands.

[Siddharth]

Tbh marriage barely adds anything positive in a woman 's life. All you get is more responsibilities. Why would any independent lady want to marry if it's just going to double the work load?
Men on the other hand, would get a wife, get their household responsibilities taken care of and their lives continues without any added burden.

[Anita]

I think if men had to keep their health, life, career, etc at stake to have kids and after that expected to do all the household work then they might have also preferred to stay unmarried.

[Norman]

What makes the difference is married men have a wife at home. Even if the wife is working, even if the man tries to be equal partner. Still the mental load a woman carries is much much more- house,kids,parents, schedules, exams,classes, nanny maid management, meal plan, laundry, decluttering, the list goes on.Add to it physical and emotional changes of child birth, later hormones catching up with perimenopause,body strength giving away.Finding time for oneself, exercise, hobbies everything seems like a luxury. Long story short men have it much easier.