I just got married and I'm still getting used to the whole family thing

[Sangeeta]

I got married last month and I'm living with my in-laws now. My sister-in-law and her two-year-old kid are also staying with us because both she and her husband have jobs and there's no one to take care of the kid. She leaves for work around 9 AM and takes some food with her.  My mother-in-law thinks I should wake up early and make this food for her every day. The thing is, everyone in the house eats breakfast around 10:30 or 11 AM, but I'm supposed to wake up earlier just to make this food. The problem is my job finishes really late, around 11:30 PM, and I usually sleep around 12 or 1 AM.  Is it fair to expect me to do this when I've just gotten married and I have such a late work schedule? How do people usually deal with situations like this?

[Ansh]

A few questions -  1. Do you get any help in the kitchen? 2. If your schedule doesn't work for making food for your sister-in-law, why can't she make her own food? 3. Who used to make food for your sister-in-law before you moved in, and why does your mother-in-law think you should do it now?

[Meera]

We should be telling women to not live in these joint family setups and to stand up for themselves.  Take a stand and refuse to cook.  Ask them how they managed before you got married, and why things can't go back to how they were. What's changed now that you're here?

[Rani]

I'm really surprised that your sister-in-law and her husband both work, but your mother-in-law still expects you to wake up early and make food for her. That's really not fair. If mothers-in-law started treating their daughters-in-law like their own daughters, a lot of problems would get solved. Unfortunately, if you don't have an understanding mother-in-law, even if you try to talk to her, it'll just turn into an argument. But you should still try to talk to her and make her understand your situation too.

[Gauri]

Was your sister-in-law not eating food before you came? It's really unfair for your mother-in-law to expect you to do this. Don't do it, or you'll be stuck doing it forever. Either your sister-in-law should make her own food, or your mother-in-law can make it for her. Be honest and tell her you can't wake up early - it's one thing to do it for your own family, but for your sister-in-law? What does your husband think about all this?

[Sarika]

You should clearly tell your mother-in-law what you're comfortable with and what's not possible. Before you talk to her, have a chat with your husband and ask him to talk to his mom if he can. If he doesn't offer to help, then you'll have to have the conversation yourself. Just stay calm and don't react - just say no and do your own thing if they keep bringing it up.

[Aarav]

You need to stand up to your mother-in-law. Your husband should support you. It's wild that your mother-in-law expects this from you, especially since you work so late.

[Mahima]

Is your sister-in-law not able to do anything for herself?

[Kalpana]

Just don't do it, it's ridiculous. They're treating you like a servant already. You need to stand up for yourself and say no.  I don't know how long women will keep getting married into these toxic families and living with their in-laws.  There are girls who dream about getting married and living with their in-laws more than they dream about living with their own parents.

[Bhavin]

It's crazy that people still expect daughters-in-law to cook for everyone in 2026

[Parth]

Honestly, you either need to stand up for yourself or make really bad food - like, super spicy or oily or salty - so bad that they say, just leave it, I'll make it myself