Arranged marriage feels like a scam for men

[Nikhil]

I'm a 25‑year‑old male, born in the US but Indian at heart. My parents have been pushing me into an arranged marriage, so I gave it a try. I quickly realised many of the girls I met don't work and expect a man who can provide. They want a traditional husband, yet they themselves aren't that traditional - they have multiple boyfriends and the like (I don't even care about that). I got really triggered after a meeting with a girl from India. She said she wouldn't work after marriage. I was like, fine - okay. Then I asked her, "If I lose all my money, will you still stay with me?" She said no. I told my parents straight away that I wasn't interested, and we moved on. If women love men for their money rather than character, how can such a marriage last? Marriages without love and understanding are bound to fail. I'm no longer interested in arranged marriage, to be frank. My ex‑girlfriend stood by me when I had no money and still loved me. If I can't find that kind of love, I see no point in marrying. I'd strongly suggest Indian men consider opting out of arranged marriage and look for love if they want a lasting partnership.

[Nikita]

Yes, Indian men should definitely opt out of arranged marriage, so women aren't left vulnerable to dowry‑related violence. It would benefit everyone.

[Payal]

Good for you for realising that arranged marriage isn't your cup of tea! Both sides get scammed sometimes, and there are people who genuinely need an arranged marriage.

[Simran]

I'm finding it hard to believe you even know where America is on a map.

[Keerthi]

Why are you even in arranged marriage, brother? Just marry your ex - arranged marriage is always tough.

[Avni]

So you're saying you don't care about a woman's looks, only her pure heart? Think about the men who abandon their wives when they lose their looks due to an accident or become ill and need care. The stats actually suggest marriage can be more of a scam for women.

[Krishna]

It can be a scam for both men and women. No one in a normal arranged marriage ever asks, "Will you stay with me if I lose all my money?" You're upset because she said no? She could say yes now and still walk out twenty years later when you're broke. There are no guarantees in love or marriage. Ideally you want to spend your life with your partner, but you never know. You'll both change many times, and whether you can adapt to each other's new selves will decide if the marriage lasts. Anything else is just idealistic fantasy.

[Vinod]

The title cracked me up, what a joke! If you don't care that they had boyfriends before, why bring it up? If you want a partner who'll work after marriage, just state that in your profile. Asking pointless questions and then getting angry at the answer is on you.

[Sharmila]

Wow, look at all the women on this subreddit suddenly getting hyperactive on this post... where were they for the original? Not a single comment from any woman.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/1tpi53r/29f_new_in_am_why_are_women_shamed_for_security

[Pooja]

If you have such a negative view of arranged marriage, don't use it. What's the point of bragging that your ex stood by you when you were broke? She eventually left you, didn't she?