Married folks - share bank balance with spouse?

[Mohan]

Irrespective of age or how long you've been married, how many of you tell your spouse the exact bank balance and salary, let alone your parents.

I have noticed three different scenarios across three generations:

1. A 75+ year old who lives on a pension - he tells his wife and daughter‑in‑law the monthly pension amount, but when asked about his bank balance he says it's about 33 % less. (His daughter (not the DIL) found out by looking at his statements.)

2. A 55+ year old - he shares every penny he earns and spends, even with the kids. He made his wife invest the money and grow it. The catch is, he didn't trust his spouse until a year after marriage, and until then he used to lock the bureau and take the keys to the office.

3. A 26‑year‑old male - he told his parents and his 25‑year‑old wife about his year‑end increment, but he said it was 20 % lower so he could keep some for himself and maintain his current lifestyle, fearing they would make rash decisions if they knew the real amount. He never disclosed where he has invested since he started working at 22.

4. A 28‑year‑old wife married to a 30‑year‑old man (2 years together) - she says she didn't get any increment, but in fact got a double‑digit raise both years, bringing her salary close to his (still about 2 lakhs less). Because she hides her salary, he keeps pushing for buying a new house or moving to a bigger one. She says she doesn't share because she doesn't trust herself with money.

I have heard older folks say that both partners should keep finance details private until they trust each other, and that money shouldn't be the main factor for marriage.

As a married person:

1. What would you do?
2. What would you suggest someone do?
3. Do personal‑finance people think their spouse can't handle money better?
4. Is this a healthy habit in the long run?

In my view, finance is important, but for the first 5‑6 months after marriage couples shouldn't obsess over numbers (as long as each earns their share and can spend a bit). After that, sharing accurate details helps plan expenses better.

[Ankita]

The second one is spot on. You teach kids early about managing money, what can be bought and what can't.

[Sachin]

I once shared my earnings and she just wanted to spend on vacations, jewellery, spa etc. When I tried to explain it's for emergencies and what if something goes wrong, the conversation turned into an argument. In the end she started crying and I gave in. Now I don't even tell her anything.

[Firoz]

We share all finances. Both my wife and I can access every account. I log in and update all balances in our master net‑worth sheet every week. I don't show exact asset details to my parents, but nothing is hidden from my wife. No secret expenses either - even if I splurge on a gadget I tell her, even if she disapproves. Same goes for her. We earn almost equal, and it's been like this since we married 19 years ago.

[Radhika]

I have a joint account with my wife and she knows how much I earn from my main job. Beyond that it's a 'don't ask, don't tell' arrangement for daily stuff. I don't need to know what she buys and she doesn't need to know mine on a regular basis. We both know our overall asset base (many investments are individual) and we discuss big things like cars or major purchases.

[Anita]

When I told my mom my salary went up from 1.5 L to 2.5 L, she immediately bought a diamond necklace.

[Kalpana]

My wife doesn't even know how much is in her account. She earns more than 50 lpa and isn't bothered about money or managing it. All she cares about is one vacation a year and the freedom to buy whatever she wants without worrying about the price tag - mainly groceries and clothes. She isn't into luxury items or flashy spending.

[Nitin]

My partner and I both work, and we share all financial details with each other.

[Gregg]

We share everything. Everything is budgeted and written in a notebook. Since the start of our marriage we've had similar interests, so it was easy. We discuss any purchase beforehand, but that doesn't mean we're frugal. We splurge when the situation calls for it, and we're both responsible. We've been married for 7 years and counting.

I became the home financial manager and my husband appreciates my work.

[Michael]

It feels like everyone here is living in a novel. Let me burst that bubble with my experience. I'm divorced and one of the main reasons was financial incompatibility.

My ex and I used to earn about the same. She never disclosed any of her assets or bank balance, while I was completely open about mine. She considered joint accounts as a form of dowry. Thankfully we're now divorced.

[Cricfan]

We're in our mid‑30s, married for over 7 years, earn almost equal and don't obsess over bank balances or increments. The last time we calculated every penny was when we were planning to buy a property. Our parents and in‑laws know both our incomes but never pry.

We take generous vacations without checking price tags, avoid unnecessary spending and none of us are shopaholics.