26M discovers fiancée’s (25F) past in shocking way

[Nakul]

I (26M) got engaged to a 25F two months ago through a matrimonial setup. Before the engagement we chatted for about two months, mostly on calls since we live in different cities. I met her twice in cafés. During that time I clearly told her I'm okay with past relationships as long as they are fully over and there's no contact with exes.

After the engagement she stayed at our home for 5‑6 days. We got closer and discussed past relationships again. I told her I had a few situationships without any sexual relations. She then said there was one guy who liked her and they had some make‑outs. I said that was fine.

Last week she came to my home again. In a casual chat I joked that she seemed sexually experienced, and I told her it's better to clear everything honestly now.

Then she admitted she had slept with a guy after talking to him for only a week, and later found out he was already engaged. I was shocked because she said she trusted this guy blindly and also claimed she had no sexual relations before.

A few days later, while she was scrolling Snapchat, I saw intimate photos with another guy from 2023. She quickly locked her phone and first gave me a wrong name, but later admitted he was actually her serious boyfriend since 2023. She said she chose not to marry him because he was alcoholic.

While checking further I found she had ordered a pregnancy kit in January this year. She admitted it was because of the same guy.

She has been in the arranged‑marriage process for around 1.5 years and met multiple guys before me. When I asked why she still met this ex in January, she said she was almost moving ahead with another guy she met in December, but things ended after she found out he drank occasionally. She says she got depressed after that and even had suicidal thoughts. She thought about marrying this ex and talked about him at home but her parents strictly said no because of his drinking habits. She also has family trauma - parents separated, and after remarriage her step‑father and grandmother treated her badly.

She always said she wanted a non‑alcoholic partner and chose me partly because I don't drink. But I also saw snaps where she was holding liquor bottles, which she explained by saying her roommates drink.

Now I'm seriously considering calling off the engagement. My issue is less about her past and more about the repeated lying, hiding things, and only admitting the truth after getting caught. She's apologizing and asking for a second chance. I don't know what to do anymore.

TL;DR: Fiancée kept revealing bigger truths about her past only after getting caught. I'm more hurt by the lying and trickle‑truthing than her past itself, and now I'm considering ending the engagement because trust already feels broken.

[Kunal]

Brother, the problem isn't her past, it's the constant lying, hiding stuff and only coming clean when you catch her.

[Atharv]

What the heck? Do you really want advice on this?

[Alok]

No, the issue isn't her past, it's the repeated lies and the way she keeps adding bits of truth later.

You know what to do – make the right decision.

[Kalpana]

Whatever the reason, once the glass cracks there's no going back. You've already judged her and she's failed, so there's no point continuing. It's better to save both your lives by calling off the engagement.

[Jasmin]

That's just tip of the iceberg. Many more to come.

[Adarsh]

Bhai, we see these kinds of posts every day, now Vishwas is getting worked up.

[Ayaan]

The fact that she only tells the truth when you catch her lying, and even then she dribbles bits of truth...

Run for your life. She's not wife material.

[Rishi]

You're right – having a past isn't a problem, but being secretive and repeatedly lying about it is a huge issue, especially after you asked directly. She only confesses when caught, so who knows what else she's hiding. If you go ahead with the marriage, you'll stay paranoid and won't be able to trust her fully. A marriage can't survive without trust.

[Sahil]

Brother, don't ignore her. If she lied to you face‑to‑face, what's the chance she won't lie again in the future? I feel sorry for you, but stay away now – marrying her will only increase the constant suspicion.

[Sunita]

Cut her off as soon as you can. When you learn more about her, you'll see it's a bad path.