Stop bigger‑fish comparison trap? (Google vs HFT pals)

[Bhavana]

I graduated a couple of years ago and honestly I feel I'm doing great. I'm an L3 at Google, have a decent work‑life balance, and just delivered a major core infrastructure project I'm proud of.

Financially I've been super lucky – Google's stock has shot up close to $400 and I haven't sold any RSUs, so my unvested equity has more than doubled. Back home, among family and extended circle, I'm probably the most well‑off. By every normal metric I've "made it" and I shouldn't be complaining.

But a few of my close college friends took the Quant/HFT route (they were ICPC World Finalists) and it's hard not to feel a sting seeing their trajectory.

Compensation: They pull in 1.5 Cr+ annual bonuses. Their bonuses alone dwarf my total package, even with my stock gains.
Lifestyle: They're constantly jet‑setting abroad and living lavishly.
Clout: They feature in their firm's recruitment videos and are treated like rockstars.

I know there's always a bigger fish. HFTs run on a totally different model – relentless pressure and pay tied directly to firm P&L. Still, looking at my steady corporate ladder I sometimes feel like just another cog compared to them.

How do you deal with this extreme peer comparison? For those doing well but with friends in the ultra‑high‑earning tier, how do you reset your mindset and actually enjoy what you have?

TL;DR: Solid L3 at Google, stock doubled, top‑most in my family, but envious of college friends earning 1.5 Cr+ bonuses at top HFTs. Need advice on fixing my mindset.

[Rakesh]

Which tier college did you attend?

[Shalini]

If you're materialistic like me, compare yourself with friends who are not doing as well; that perspective can help you find balance.

[Shobha]

Compare yourself with Anant Ambani – that's the end of the ocean.

[Usha]

Your HFT buddies probably compare themselves with big businessmen or politicians – there's always a bigger fish.

[Mohaideen]

Try to understand how they got where they are and see what parts you can replicate – luck plays a big role too.

Remember, circumstances matter. You're at Google because of the actions you took and the opportunities that came your way. They're at an HFT firm because of their own actions and chances. Many people earn far less due to different actions and situations.

That's why we say comparison is the thief of joy.

Talk to them about their careers, not just the perks. Find out how they landed the high‑pay, high‑stakes job and what daily life looks like (HFT is high pressure, Google is relatively relaxed). See if you can picture yourself in that environment and what steps you'd need.

Also, introspect – do you really want that life?

[Adarsh]

My ultra‑high‑earning friend is actually the humblest guy I know, so there isn't much to compare.

Your focus should be on your own story, not on watching others pass you by.

1. Yes, they're doing well, but you're also in an exceptional spot. Unless you have major financial needs at home, you can afford most things people your age chase.
2. Why not take trips or spend on things that make you happy? I'd understand if you were at a lower earning rung, but you're not.
3. Share your story too – nobody said only the company can talk about it.

Do things you'll look back on in 2‑3 years and feel happy about. When you see it that way, you'll realize you already have most of what you need to achieve it.

[Arjun]

Googler here – why aren't you an L4 yet if you graduated just a couple of years ago?

[Samar]

Comparison is the thief of joy. That's why these sayings have survived generations.

[Harshit]

I heard once as a kid: be genuinely happy for people who are doing better than you, even your peers. I try to live by it, though it's not easy.

Remember, you never know what they're going through. It's possible they're doing great in every area, but that shouldn't be your happiness benchmark.

Be grateful for what you have; life can surprise anyone. Celebrate your achievements today and don't let comparison steal the joy of your own successes!

[Ayaan]

Take a 1 lakh EMI, quit your current job and wait a few months. You'll stop comparing with others. Give it a try and let us know.