Life lately

[Shreya]

Hey guys, I'm a 29‑year‑old male. I met a 26‑year‑old female through a matrimony site and we've been together for the last 5 months. Over this time we built a good understanding and got attached to each other.

I had two past relationships that didn't work out, and I was open about them when we first met. She also told me she had a 6‑year relationship before, and we were both fine with each other's past.

But recently I saw some photos of her kissing a 40‑year‑old man who is her senior colleague at work. When I asked her, she denied any relationship and said the pictures were just for fun, that she was teasing him. She added that he helped her when she was shifting houses, which is why he was at her place, half‑naked on her bed.

This guy also drops her off at her place from the office once a week, and we had small fights because I didn't like that. She told me not to be so narrow‑minded.

Now I'm devastated. She keeps denying any relationship with him and says we should continue ours. She also says that since we started dating she has only been with me, no flings, and I can trust her on that because we spend almost the whole day together.

But the fact that she hid this from me is really bothering me. It feels like a trust issue. If she had told me earlier, maybe I would have still accepted it.

Right now she's still not ready to tell the full truth.

So I'm confused: Should I end this relationship? My gut says that if she tells me the truth, I could forgive her because I don't want to lose her. Or should I end it now since she's lying and I don't know what other surprises might come up in the future?

Edit: all these things happened before we met, but she didn't disclose them to me.

[Arjun]

What kind of kiss are we talking about?

[Saloni]

A peck on the cheek might be forgivable, but anything more like a full‑on French kiss or something sexual... I don't think it's worth it! I wouldn't marry someone who doesn't keep boundaries with friends and colleagues.

[Neeraj]

During this time we've developed good understanding and attachment towards each other.

You have developed attraction, not her. No person who is attached kisses other person for fun.

Her kissing a 40‑year‑old man who is her senior colleague at work. He was at her place and lying half naked on her bed.

These things are messed up, remove your love/emotional glasses to see them clearly.

[Tushar]

Bro, are you blind for the colour red??

[Keshav]

Just leave, dude. Don't ruin your mental health over this. Thank god you found out before marriage. Make a wise decision and choose peace over insecurities for a lifetime.

[Prakash]

Now you have three past relationships, brother.

[Shilpa]

Having a narrow mind is far better than losing peace of mind... run while you can.

[Shivam]

[Amitabh]

Coming from a woman... it's casual with a colleague. He's her... kinda spare option. If you mess up, hurt her, fight with her, basically upset her, she'd go to him for comfort. And he'd also comfort her. Then they'd go back to normal as colleagues. No serious feelings involved. Do with this info what pleases you. But that's how it is. Sorry for my words, I'm just being blunt.

[Shekar]

Don't confront her on this and just leave, no explanations. If you give a reason, she'll hide it from her next match.

Follow the bro code.