Dad wants me to put up 20L for sis's wedding while my career's just starting

[Navya]

I'm a fresh MBBS graduate and will start residency this year or next, depending on my NEET‑PG score and the branch I get. Right now everything is uncertain. My sister is supposed to get married next year, and I'm expected to arrange the whole 20 lakhs myself, maybe by taking a loan. I already owe a lot to my family, and I'd take another loan if I have to, but I'm not happy to kick‑start my financial life on such a sour note. How do I explain to my partner that a big chunk of my salary each month will go into loan repayments for something I never signed up for? Other options I've thought of are selling my valuables or part of the land I inherited. I'd appreciate any advice.

[Kanchan]

Where does your sister stand in all this?

[Ranjit]

This is good, OP, in a way. Now you need to think about your own finances without relying on anyone. As you clearly know where your family stands financially and as a support system.

[Gaurav]

Your sister doesn't want to get married and dad is pushing her? And you, a fresher, are expected to take a personal 20 L loan? I can't understand why some parents are so obsessed with ruining their kids' lives. First, tell them no - it's tough but you must do it so you don't end up resenting them. Second, educate them about the importance of focusing on your career before worrying about your sister's wedding. Study, get a job, then think about marriage when the time is right. This whole thing is just madness, bhai.

[joshi]

No, don't do it. Just flat‑out refuse. Say you can maybe chip in a few lakhs here and there, but the rest is the right of your own family to handle later. Your sister's wedding is dad's responsibility, not yours.

[Alok]

I see how this could play out. Your father expects you to pay because you'll inherit most of the family's real estate. If you don't pay, he might sell the property. You could ask him to sell your sister's portion yourself.

[Varun]

Absolutely do not this.

[Darshan]

Say no. If your sister isn't interested in marriage, you should support her. Ask dad to give the money from her share of the inheritance, if there is any.

[Usha]

1. Show him the Twisha case.
2. Insist on a low‑key wedding and suggest giving cash to the daughter for her own use.
3. Who is really giving you a loan? Banks need collateral, and you have none in your name. Do you earn enough to be used as collateral?
4. If you do earn enough, tell him you're saving 10‑15 % of your salary for the wedding and expect a similar approach for your own wedding later.

[Ranjit]

You're still a student and will probably be on a stipend for another 3‑4 years - it's unfair to expect you to contribute now. Do your parents understand the reality of the medical profession in India? If not, explain that you won't earn a decent amount before age 30 and your income will grow with experience and further studies. If they still expect you to take a loan, just say no.

[Aryan]

You don't owe anything to your family just because they helped you become who you are today. Parents taking care of their children is basic. Your sister's wedding expenses are your parents' responsibility, not yours, especially when you're under your own financial stress. It's not worth taking a loan, no matter how much you love them.