F 36, feeling trapped in the luxury of staying home

[Pavithra]

I am 36 years old and I have to say, I am really feeling stuck at home, I have two small kids and I have been a full time mom for a while now, but I am desperate to get back to work. The thing is, my husband earns a lot, almost three times what I used to earn, so everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy my life and not bother working. But the truth is, I am not happy like this, I feel like I am losing my sense of identity and purpose.

[Ansh]

I think there is a middle way, but it depends on your husband being okay with spending some money on a babysitter, if that is not a problem, then you could try getting a low paying job just to get out of the house, or you could try doing something that does not bring in money, like taking courses or joining a club, the point is to do something that is yours and does not cause problems in your family.

[Sahil]

You could also try coaching new moms or volunteering at an NGO, if you are looking for a sense of purpose and something to keep you busy.

[Abhishek]

Please get your own money, no matter what, it gives you a sense of purpose and financial independence, or you could keep upgrading your skills until you find the right job, because if you do not do something, you will find your life repetitive and mundane after a few years.

[Manav]

I think this is a big problem that stay at home moms face and it is not discussed enough, there is a lot of value in being a professional, even if it is not financial, my mom always felt insecure about not working and it took a toll on her life, so I think you should consider your mental well being when making this decision.

[Jignesh]

I know it does not make sense financially, but I think you should get that low paying job, it will be a change of atmosphere and who knows, you might be able to get a promotion or a new job in a few years.

[Saloni]

Take the 50 percent cut even if you save nothing, I think that is the way to go, you have to start somewhere and who knows, you might get a raise or a new career path might open up for you, so just take the leap and get going.

[Anupama]

I think it is understandable that you want to work, it is a part of your identity and not just about earning money, it is about having a challenge and something to stimulate your mind, so do not listen to what others say, just do what you think is right for you.

[Bhavana]

The thing is, you are not getting any money now anyway, so the net change would be zero money, but you would get some self fulfillment.

[Ramesh]

Honestly, I think you just need something that is yours, when all your money and security comes from someone else, it can start to feel like a cage, it is not about how much you earn, it is about having your own thing and your own sense of independence.

[Lakshmi]

This is what I hate, just because one partner earns more, it does not mean the other person's career is worthless, it is used as an excuse to make women dependent on their spouses for money.