Mum calls me R**** – is it normal?

[Namrata]

This is the 4th time she's called me that. The first time was when I didn't do the dishes in the timeline she gave me. She loves me a lot, but when she says this word I feel like killing myself. Nobody else has ever called me R* except my own mother. Is this common? Have your mothers also called you this? How do I tell her I don't like it?

[Sumit]

No, it is not. No one calls her that. If she isn't generally abusive, try telling her you don't like it. High chance she's doing it out of habit. But nobody should be called that.

[Ronit]

It means a prostitute in Hindi, right? Bro, what kind of woman - even a mother - calls her own daughter randi? Sigh... Is she the type to listen? If you tell her it hurts, will she stop or double down? Can you get help from dad or someone else for support? If so, use their help to make her understand. Is it just a slang she uses without meaning it? You can be passive-aggressive too - depends on what kind of push-back she accepts.

[Krishna]

Confront her directly, it's not normal.

[Aishwarya]

I have a few friends whose mothers call them that for wearing anything that shows skin or having male friends. I can give more silly examples - unfortunately this is common and very disgusting.

[Arif]

No, it's not normal. A mother calling her daughter that is verbal abuse, not discipline. Anger doesn't justify it. If it makes you want to hurt yourself, this is serious - talk to someone you trust or a professional, don't sit with it alone.

[Aftab]

Any type of abuse or bad language is not spoken in most families. If your mother listens, correct her. Tell her to stop. Ask her to explain what the word means and why she used it. She may claim ignorance. Mention exactly when she said it, the context and what you were doing. That will make her realise that even if she forgets, you won't. If she's narcissistic and doubles down, use the word back at her more than once. Say that since she uses it, you thought it was okay. Sometimes as we grow older we have to teach parents too. Nobody likes it, but it's better in the long run.

[Darshan]

No. Is she high or something?

[Sharmila]

No. She needs to regulate her emotions better.

[Chirag]

If she really loves you, she wouldn't say that word ever. Confront her and stand up for yourself because it's obviously not common at all. You don't deserve to be treated this way. If you let it slide, she'll keep verbally abusing you.

[Kalpana]

My mom did too. Not once, but a handful of times when I was 13-17 (after that I moved to a hostel for a year). Anyway, no she doesn't love you. This is not normal either.