Confused after engagement - trust issues, need advice

[Menon]

I (28M) recently got engaged to a 25F through an arranged setup. She's from a village and I'm from a city, and we were introduced by a close relative. Our families met in early January and both sides agreed to move forward. I wanted to talk to her before things got official, but her family preferred that we finalise first and then communicate freely. Our ring ceremony happened at the end of January.

After the engagement we started talking more on calls and texts.

A few things have been bothering me since then:

Shortly after the engagement she offered me her Instagram password, which I declined. We exchanged IDs, but within two days her account was wiped (all posts deleted) and she created a new one. She said her cousin accidentally did it while setting up the new phone I had gifted her. That felt odd to me.

She told me that after marriage she plans to leave her current WhatsApp number at home because relatives usually contact her on it (her father is unwell). I suggested she could ask relatives to call the home number instead, but she insisted it wouldn't look good for a new bride to take many calls. That didn't sit right with me either.

In another conversation she mentioned her friends' husbands became controlling after marriage and asked if I would do the same. I reassured her I wouldn't.

When discussing past relationships I was honest about having one past relationship. She initially said she had never dated anyone and even expressed strong opinions against dating. About a month later she admitted she had been in a long‑term relationship from school through college. She said she hid this because people around her advised her not to be "too honest" and she was afraid I would judge her.

This is the part that has affected me the most. It's not about her having a past, but the fact that she repeatedly denied it and only admitted it later. It has made me question her honesty overall.

Now she is asking me to trust her and give her a chance.

I'm feeling confused about whether I'm overthinking these incidents or if these are genuine red flags early in the relationship. Since this is an arranged marriage and we're already engaged, I want to make a thoughtful decision.

Would you consider these trust‑breaking issues serious enough to reconsider, or should I give it more time?

[Chetan]

Call off the wedding or be ready for false accusations. She's still carrying trauma from past relationships.

[Vijay]

Listen to your gut, bro – better to walk away now than after you're married.

[Neeraj]

You know the truth, so run.

[Anita]

She waited till you were already engaged, then spilled the beans because she thinks you won't walk away now. My advice is to prove her wrong for your own good. Deleting her Instagram and ditching her number smells like she's still in touch with some guy.

[Dayanand]

Bro, it's one red flag after another. Not worth the hassle!

[Arisha]

Deleting all IG posts while setting up a phone isn't realistic. You already know the answer – get out before it's too late.

[Kunal]

"After the engagement, we started talking more on calls and texts." I stopped there – you're basically gambling.

[Omkar]

I wouldn't have said run, but the fresh WhatsApp and Instagram are definitely concerning.

[Gaurav]

As a woman, my advice is to run. She's hiding a lot and that's how men end up in trouble. She has trust issues and seems to project them onto you. At 25 she chose to lie about her past because of pressure from others. Her mindset isn't compatible with yours – look for someone more open‑minded. Leave this kaleshi woman.

[Mukesh]

Get out of this, man – don't do yourself a favour. You sound like a decent guy with little dating experience; you deserve someone genuine. There are red flags from the start – family pushing you into an engagement without you really knowing each other. Women can be manipulative and go to great lengths to push their agenda, often hiding behind a soft, petite image. Stand up for yourself, ask the tough questions, and don't fall into these traps. You'll find someone better.