Why women still expected to live with in‑laws after marriage in India?

[Isha]

My mother carried me for nine months, endured labour pain, and my father took care of my education, expenses, wishes, etc. They loved and cared for me, educated me so that I could get married and end up washing the underwear of some random man's parents—often in a long saree, ghunghat, with all that drama in the name of culture.

EDIT: I'm using my own experience just to illustrate the cultural expectations placed on women here. It's not a personal attack. Some girls in the comments got angry as if I'm targeting them. If you're a rich metro‑city dweller, maybe this doesn't apply to you, but many of us don't live there. These expectations aren't just from uneducated folks; I've seen them in highly educated families, even among judges, IAS officers, etc.

[Atharv]

You can always marry someone who shares your view and doesn't want to live with his parents. No one is forcing you to marry a man who expects you to serve only his parents. It just doesn't make sense anymore.

[Naresh]

Yeah, I'd rather stay unmarried forever than live with someone else's parents.

[Anand]

Just do what you want. You don't have to marry someone who wants you to live with his parents, and you don't have to marry at all.

[Vinay]

Refuse to marry such men. If he deceives you and makes you stay with his parents, divorce him. My friend recently broke up with her long‑term boyfriend because he completely flipped once their parents met to discuss marriage. After the wedding date was set, he started saying 'we should move back to India within a year and stay with my parents'.

[Ramesh]

Washing the in‑laws' underwear?? Girl, what the heck!

[Ujjwal]

Yes, I'm surprised how many men (and some women) still think it's normal for women to live with in‑laws. Women should simply refuse to marry such men in today's age.

[Dayanand]

Almost every man I've met through the arranged‑marriage route either wants to live with his family or expects me to move in, no questions asked. I'm not totally against it, but it feels imposed, and that makes me despise it. My sister had a love marriage, yet it was assumed they'd live with his parents. Only one guy I met didn't want to live with his family, but he had a very problematic past, so that wasn't an option for me.

[Danny]

...because the man‑child husband doesn't want to give up his comfortable life.

[Chetan]

Never getting married.

[Neeraj]

Nothing will change as long as women keep enabling and upholding these practices, which many women posting here do.