25M: gf says I'm not hot – is that normal?

[Norman]

Asking for women's perspective.

My girlfriend says she finds me good‑looking and even proposed, but she also admits she doesn't find me hot or sexy.

I know I'm an average‑looking guy, not a hunk.

We've had a lot of intimacy issues even though our relationship is otherwise healthy. She says it's not just low sex drive, and I keep wondering if things would be different with someone she finds sexy.

For me, even when I'm not in the mood, if she initiates I get turned on because I find her attractive. The opposite doesn't happen.

Is this normal?

[Satish]

[Subhash]

Her not feeling sexually attracted to you might have more to do with your relationship dynamics than your looks.

[Murali]

If you were hotter it doesn't automatically mean she'd step up. She's doing her best, and so are you. You mentioned intimacy issues – they're probably not about how sexy you are. Consider seeing a professional sex therapist together.

[Amitabh]

Check whether she's keeping you as a backup. Do you come from a wealthy family?

[Chandan]

I'd say it's not a big problem as long as she likes you, which she does. But it could also be about how you handle intimacy. If you're a real charmer, she might change her view of you quickly.

[Ashok]

No, it's not ... She's apparently building an excuse to dump you in the next few months. She'll start finding some of your habits irritating, some of your family members annoying, and your financial situation frustrating. Bottom line – take a timeout, bro. Move on as soon as you can. It's about time, whatever you wish, dream, or ignore.

[Radhika]

She didn't propose to you, my friend; she settled for you until she can find a better, more capable partner.