Always listen to your gut, ladies!

[Latha]

I feel like I dodged a bullet, but I just want to be sure I'm not overthinking this. (Used chat GPT to hone it)

I was talking to a guy my parents introduced. At first everything seemed perfect, but very early I noticed I was the one starting most conversations. I brushed it off thinking the guy should always be the one to chat.

I told him the kind of personality I like, and suddenly he started copying my humor, opinions, even calling himself a "green forest" type. At first it felt nice, but later it seemed he was trying too hard to match me instead of being himself.

We talked a lot, but I was carrying the conversation—bringing topics, adding jokes, keeping it going, while he kept trying to one‑up me. I ignored it because he seemed perfect and everyone kept saying he was fine.

The first thing that really bothered me was that he never initiated meeting. Even when I was in his city, he didn't bring it up. When I finally asked, he said he wanted to meet but would be okay not meeting. That didn't sit right.

A week later, after I got annoyed, he told me he was in love with me. It felt too sudden. He talked about everything else but never touched serious topics.

We eventually met, and it was just okay. Later we talked about involving families and moving forward. He said he would take the initiative—again, he didn't.

I had to bring it up once more, and my dad even tried calling him. He didn't return the call. Meanwhile he stayed sweet and affectionate, acting like everything was fine.

That's when I started losing interest. I talked less, which made him either love‑bomb me or do childish things like removing his DP or saying he won't eat his food or do chores.

Then suddenly he claimed he had informed his family about us. The weird part was he had already told me earlier that he had, so it was clearly a lie. When I asked, he got defensive and started a tit‑for‑tat argument.

He even said he told his family because I wasn't talking to him, which made no sense.

At that point I told him clearly what I need in a partner: someone who takes initiative, is mature and accountable, not someone who waits and then blames the other.

I ended things.

After that his behavior changed completely. First he kept trying to pull me back with constant messages and affection, refusing to give me space. When that didn't work, he became rude, started calling me names and saying I wasted his time, even calling a lot just to yell at me. I gave it back to him.

Then he tried to threaten me, saying he would send our chats to my parents. The blackmail was something I never expected.

There was nothing inappropriate in those chats, and by then even my parents were done with him, so it didn't really affect me. But it made me think—if I were younger or less sure of myself, I might have felt scared or pressured.

Anyway, always listen to yourself and your gut. It took an emotional toll because I'm 31F, already tired from the process and really wanted to find someone, so I guess I let that feeling get to me.

TL;DR: Met a guy through my parents who seemed perfect but mirrored me, never took initiative, rushed to say he loved me, lied about involving his family, and dodged accountability. When I ended things, he turned rude and tried to blackmail me, so I walked away.

[Shashi]

So proud of you!

[Aryan]

Good on you for ending things. I'm glad your parents could see the red flags too.

[Bhavya]

Excellent decision, di. All the best.

[Alok]

Stay blessed. You really dodged a bullet. So much drama even before marriage—imagine living with him 24/7, exhausting! Makes me want to nap again (just took one lol).

[Imran]

You did absolutely right, OP!!

[Malini]

Wow!!! I genuinely hope you find a man worthy of you. ❤️❤️❤️

[Arisha]

I'm glad at least your parents saw the red flags. My parents still support the guy who ghosted me and think he's the one. I feel sick because of my parents more than the guy.

[Harendra]

Self proclaimed NiceGuys™

[Nakul]

Omg this! People should never fall for the 'I'll tell your parents' trick. 9/10 times decent parents will side with you and help when they know what's really happening (they might lecture, but it's not the end of the world).

[Amit]

Sorry for generalising, but it's wild how 30+ Indian men act compared to those in their early 20s. Younger guys are getting more mature lately, I don't know what's happening.