26F pregnant, anxious after finding girl’s texts on husband’s phone

[Khushi]

To start with, I never go through my husband's phone and he never looks at mine. One time he was in the shower, and I casually opened his Instagram. I saw a chat with a girl – nothing serious, just random talk. She mentioned she lives in Gurgaon and he replied that he often travels there, which I know is a lie. I confronted him later and he said it was nothing, that the girl was an old friend from when he lived in Bangalore before Covid. He told me, "she was just some random girl my friend met at a pub," basically implying she might be a call girl, but I let it go.

After that, he deleted Instagram and claimed he wouldn't use any social media because he didn't care about it. About 8‑9 months later, I spotted Instagram again on his phone, guessed his password, and checked his DMs. The girl was still there, the conversation set to a 24‑hr disappearing mode. I only saw the last few messages, which ended with a simple "bye." This was when he had gone to his office in Gurgaon. I kept checking his phone secretly, but no new messages appeared. I haven't confronted him yet; I just blocked the girl on his profile and tried to message her from my own account, but she hasn't replied.

[Tejas]

That's exactly what you're thinking.

[Vikas]

Yes, he's doing exactly what you think.

[Bharat]

I would have sent her a selfie from his ID showing my cute pregnant belly, wishing her a good day from the whole family. Petty af.

[Amrita]

Call her and ask directly what's happening. Get all the evidence.

[Gayatri]

You're pregnant, so it's no surprise your man is cheating. This is a classic scenario; I see these posts all the time.

[Imtiaz]

Reach out to her and cleverly gather all the details – whether they've met, how many times, how they know each other, whether he presented himself as single, etc. Take screenshots or record calls, then decide your next steps based on that information.

[Harshit]

Reach out to her, but don't let him know you're aware. Collect proof first, then decide how to confront him. Make sure you protect yourself. From what I've observed, don't act like a hostile or defensive wife; try to be friendly. Present it as if you have an open marriage or aren't his wife, so she feels comfortable sharing details. Some women pull back when approached by angry wives because they want to avoid drama.

You can also check out infidelity subreddits for more advice; people there have dealt with even messier situations.

[Aarti]

Why would anyone say you shouldn't check your partner's phone? That's a strange rule. This is cheating. Even if you don't have concrete proof of emotional or physical affairs, it still counts as cheating. In a responsible, committed relationship there are boundaries, and your husband clearly has none.

[Karan]

You can sense what's going on... trust your gut.

[Navya]

Marriage can be really scary.