Ended my nikkah after 4 months due to her actions

[Tanmay]

I get why the mehr exists and I support it, but in some cases they should be forced to return it.

Here's what I discovered about her:
- She's dated several men. She first said one, then admitted her body‑count is much higher – I'd guess it's up there.
- She never used protection with them, ended up having an abortion and even caught herpes.
- She invited a guy she barely knew from MuzzMatch to a hotel where her family was staying just to "get over her ex".
- She kept sleeping with her ex for years even though he was in a rishta or long‑term relationship the whole time.
- She has a serious spending problem and is always in debt.
- She went on a 2‑3‑week holiday with a man who was paying for everything.
- She's sent nudes to about twenty guys she's dated seriously.
- She's been addicted to weed for the past 1.5 months and that blew up the issues leading to divorce.
- She also admitted to using other drugs before – whippets, cocaine, pills, LSD/ecstasy, etc.
- She smokes cigarettes, vapes and even drinks alcohol when she goes out.
- After learning all this I told her I think it's best we end things.
- Before I could formally say talaq or talk to her parents, I found out she bought a premium membership on a dating app to send likes to other men.
- She even stole my engagement ring from my car and admitted it over text.

I've kept all this from her family to protect her reputation because I'm not that kind of man, but now I feel like blowing everything up with them. They're refusing to return anything and act like they did nothing wrong. They raised a total mess of a girl and now claim she's reading namaz for 3‑4 days and has changed.

I feel sick to my stomach. My parents gave about £15k in gifts and mehr and are in their 60s with health problems, and this family is just happy keeping it with no shame. The mehr included a family heirloom necklace passed down for generations. I'm furious and feel helpless. I feel like I've let my parents down even though I did nothing wrong.

This family will just move on to the next one that falls for their charm and lies, take mehr, and feel no remorse. I'm so angry and helpless.

[](https://www.reddit.com/submit/?source_id=t3_1tjltbc&composer_entry=crosspost_prompt)

[Sarika]

Bro, at this point you should worry less about the money and be grateful you got out of that mess. And don't play the nice‑guy card – share everything about her with her family. Don't take all the blame on yourself.

[Anand]

The most sensible, sexually liberal woman would say, 'At least you now know what you're dealing with.' I've known people who had not just one but several abortions... I'm sorry, but multiple abortions are a hard line for me.

[Shreya]

Bruh... were there no red flags, or did you just ignore them because you were in love?

[Ishaan]

If your story is true, a woman like her will paint you as the villain and herself as the victim for the next guy.

[Manav]

Wow, nobody saw any of this coming? You should definitely file a police complaint for the theft. If you're heading for divorce, get a lawyer – they can help you recover the heirloom. Any sane man would have done that. Considering she's a Muslim girl using a strictly Muslim app, and you mentioned hard drugs which are expensive, she must have a big source of money or be in rehab. It's odd that no one in a Muslim household noticed, especially since you married a self‑confessed stoner. Stoners have distinct habits, yet none of that showed up in her behaviour? Hiding one thing is one thing, but all of this together feels a bit stretched, if not a lie.

[Sameer]

Which country are you in – India, the UK, or somewhere else?

[Nath]

I've been through a similar situation. The best move is to tell her family, friends and your mutual circle, because once you walk away they'll try to blame you. And then just move on, don't look back.

[Aftab]

I've faced a similar situation. The smartest thing is to share this with her family, friends and your common circle, because once you walk away they'll try to pin the blame on you. Then just move forward and don't look back.

[Bharat]

How did you find out all this?

[Harry]

Thank yourself that you could end it within four months. As a man you'll still face the fallout, even if you're in the right.