What is he looking for in this arranged marriage?

[Esha]

So my rishta was fixed back in January and we're planning to tie the knot in October. It's a very traditional arranged‑marriage setup – my parents aren't modern, so I'm not allowed to meet my future husband casually. I've only met him three times, always with family around, and we sometimes talk on the phone. He seems like a good, caring guy, but before we finalised the marriage he told me he was still in touch with his situationship. He said it's over now and I thought, 'okay, he's honest, I don't mind.'

Later I found out he's still texting her and calling her mostly at night, sometimes as late as 4:30 am. She doesn't even seem interested – she'll pick up, say she doesn't want to talk, and he'll beg her to continue. Yet he keeps contacting her. Our roka is next month and I learned he talked to her last night. When he talks to me, he's calm, composed and very loving.

I'm confused – his behavior makes me think he loves me, so maybe I shouldn't worry, but I'm also scared he'll keep this up until after roka or something and then it'll end. Please help, I'm really confused and my future depends on this decision.

[Indrajit]

Just run, no brainer.

[Prakash]

You need to confront him and tell him this is a deal‑breaker. Let him know it's bothering you and that such behaviour isn't acceptable in any relationship. Make it clear that either he stops talking to her or you'll have to rethink the whole decision.

[Nitin]

If your source is reliable, you should call it off. Still, I'd suggest you confront him first.

[Manav]

Don't marry this guy. Break the engagement.

[Nandini]

Have some self‑respect and end it.

[Harry]

If his behaviour is as you described, it's a clear mask he's wearing. Ask yourself: do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who isn't willing to be his authentic self in front of his supposed life partner? What are you seeing in him that stops you from confronting this inconsistency? If you don't speak up now, when will you? After marriage you could be cheated on.

Remember this: if a man truly loves his woman, he won't think about anyone else.

If what you've observed is true – him texting and calling her late at night, begging her even when she's not interested – there's a strong chance he isn't fully committed to marrying you and is only doing it because his family is pressuring him.

[Cricfan]

What's your plan if he doesn't stop after the roka?

[Bhavana]

Confront him, don't be scared. If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?

[Rohit]

Even if he stops after you confront him, there's a high chance he'll cheat again whenever marriage becomes inconvenient for him.

[Ramesh]

Confront him, then run. There's a high chance he'll seek solace in her or someone else even after you're married.