Rishta meeting or interrogation?

[Sohan]

A potential match was arranged through family - let's call him Zz, 30M. On paper he looks great: BTech, corporate job, cleared several govt exams, has switched between a few govt jobs so he is definitely hardworking. As the eldest son he even sponsored his younger brother to study abroad. Father is a govt employee, mother is a homemaker.

I (28F) like the groom. He is hardworking, intelligent and takes responsibility for his family.

The problem came during the family meetup. His mother and younger brother are very dominant. It was full of 'chhota beta raja beta, bada beta aloo sabzi' energy. Most of the suspicion came from the younger brother, who kept forcing his opinions.

When I said I don't have Instagram or Snapchat, he kept pushing: 'How can you be this age and not have anything? You must have had accounts - you're just deleting everything now, putting up a clean slate, white‑washing your past so you can get married.' It felt like an interrogation.

I am an introvert, I have only 2-3 friends and I like keeping my life private. I did use Instagram in college but deleted it 4-5 years ago to focus on govt exam prep and never went back. I use Pinterest, Reddit to read, and WhatsApp - that's it.

To them, not having socials in this generation means 'something must be wrong.' For me it's just how I am.

The conversation itself was awkward too, but that's on me - it was my first 'table meeting' and I was nervous. So yeah, awkward, but not a dealbreaker.

Zz himself was fine. He didn't create drama. It was mostly his brother driving the suspicion.

[Imran]

The man should have the spine to shut his brother down. A good partner supports you in front of family even before you're married. If he can't stand up for you now, he might not back you up later when any family member attacks you. I'm not saying he can't be a good husband, but the chances are low.

[Deepika]

If this was your first meeting, it's okay – chota beta is still young, he doesn't have much sense yet, so don't bother. If you liked the guy, ask for his number or tell your parents you want to talk for a few days to get to know him better, then decide.

[Aman]

Don't think it's a big deal. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.

[Dinesh]

Maybe you are overthinking. Just look around on social media where people do the same things the younger brother was insisting on. He may not be correct in his approach, but give him the benefit of the doubt and talk to the main guy to clear the confusion.

[Nikhil]

That's okay, many people suffer from the 'I am always right and know everything' syndrome.

Let me give you an insight to help you decide.

Such issues appear in every rishta, and if you can't find one, trust me, another will come later.

The fact is, weigh the pros against the cons.

Is the guy worth the trouble or not?

Most people believe what they want irrespective of reality.

My best wishes for your future adventure.

[Yamini]

Invite them to your place. That's standard rishta process and your family deserves to observe them.

About the social‑media interrogation – be frank. Society is slowly unlearning the habit of labeling people and the idea that a woman's digital footprint defines her character. That work is real and important.

What happened in that meeting was the opposite. A younger brother treated your privacy as suspicious, your silence as evidence, your boundaries as something needing explanation – that's not traditional caution, it's a controlling mindset wearing rishta clothes.

Not having Instagram isn't a character flaw. It's a choice. A mature person respects that without interrogation.

The boy may be decent, but the family showed you something in round one. Watch carefully whether round two looks different or whether the same insects bring the same poison to your home next time.

You deserve someone whose family sees your boundaries as strength, not a threat.

[Sameer]

If you marry this guy, his brother might be the one accusing you of everything and criticizing you if any bedroom issues arise. Huge red flag! Run away from such controlling people. Even if the groom is good, they will cause the marriage to fail, and the groom should step up and shut his brother's mouth instead of being a doormat.

[Sonia]

Reminds me of a girl's dad who said there must be something wrong with me because I said I need no dowry.