Another chance?

[Arif]

I was chatting with a guy for about 7 months and we really liked each other. Things got serious - we even started talking about marriage and future plans. Around the 7th month, my parents sensed something off and began pressuring me. When I finally asked him what was happening, he said he wanted to put marriage on hold.

Two months earlier, his younger brother was going through a divorce, and the whole family was focused on that. He told me he didn't feel he could move forward with our marriage until his brother's situation was resolved. When I asked how long that might take, he couldn't give me an answer.

His parents were also suggesting we call it off. He said he'd feel guilty keeping me waiting without knowing when he'd be ready to marry. I asked for a timeline, but he said he couldn't commit because of the uncertainty.

I accepted that, and as we were ending things, he asked if he could reach out in the future once things settled on his side and I hadn't found anyone yet. I told him no - I want someone who will choose me regardless of the situation. I said it would be really hard for me to move on.

It's been 3 months since then, and he reached out. He said he misses me a lot and that it's been really hard on him. I asked if things were sorted with his brother, and he said no. He told me he doesn't care about that anymore and didn't realise how difficult it would be after saying no.

He said he wants to marry me and asked if I could give him another chance.

Should I give him another chance?

[Aman]

He's being open about his thoughts, which is actually a good sign. There's nothing wrong with what he said. If you weren't happy with how things ended before, you can clearly tell him so it doesn't happen again. I think you can give him a second chance if you still like him.

[Ayaan]

While you were right to say you wanted commitment regardless of the circumstances (I assume you wanted to stand by his side and help him through the situation), he's not wrong either for not being in the right headspace to give you what you needed at that time. That doesn't necessarily mean his resolve to be with you was shaky - he was genuinely dealing with something, unlike many who just ghost and pop back in as if nothing happened.

I'd say you can give him another chance, but vet him thoroughly. Make sure the same feelings are still there and that he's absolutely sure about the commitment you expect.

[Imran]

Did you meet anyone else in those 10 months? If you really vibe with him, you can give him another chance, but otherwise spending so much time on one person in the AM scene feels a bit too much.

[Jagdish]

Marrying into a family that's going through a divorce can be hectic for everyone. He might truly miss you, but I don't think getting married right now is suitable for either of you, and I doubt both families would agree. Divorce takes a huge toll on all family members.

[Sharmila]

Changing your mind isn't bad as it's often made out to be. Give him another chance if you genuinely liked him when you were together, not just because you're scared of missing out on someone similar. Finding a compatible partner takes time, effort and a bit of luck. Don't let fear ruin a potential match.

[Vasant]

As an unmarried woman navigating the dating scene, I want to be honest - I've seen 'almosts' turn into months when emotions aren't handled carefully.

What you did earlier took real self‑respect. Walking away from someone you care about, especially when love and future talks are involved, isn't easy. His family situation was genuinely stressful and life can pause people. But what matters is how he reacted when things got complicated: he stepped back, left the relationship without a timeline or a clear path forward, and now nothing in his situation has changed. The family issue is still there, the uncertainty is still there, and he still can't give you a timeline. The only change is that he misses you now and realises your absence hurts him more than he expected.

I understand why your heart is torn. Seven months of emotional investment is significant - you can't just switch it off. When he comes back saying he wants you, ask yourself: what has actually changed that makes the outcome different this time?

You don't need someone who returns only when losing you feels more uncomfortable than dealing with family pressure. You said you want someone who chooses you regardless of circumstances, so you know what emotional safety looks like. If you consider going back, demand real clarity on timing, an explanation of why he stepped away before, and a concrete plan for handling family pressure moving forward. If he can't give you that, you're basically restarting with more emotional investment.

And speaking as a 33‑year‑old woman who's seen this pattern often, attraction alone doesn't fix inconsistency, no matter how hard you try. He chose to step away last time. If you already feel doubt, listen to it - that's your mental and emotional clarity speaking. All the best!

[Anand]

Give him a chance. Not many men come back and clearly express that you're the one they want.

[Anil]

There's a clear mismatch and misalignment here. And please drop the idea that you're 'giving him another chance.' From what you've shared, it's actually him who's still hoping for a chance.

Why? Because when he opened up about his problems, your response was to ask for a timeline. That's not understanding - it's pressure. Understanding starts with giving space, not setting deadlines.

So if you don't genuinely feel like understanding him, it's better not to invest further. Pressuring him will only highlight the misalignment.

[Sonal]

If you trust him and you know his family well, you can give him a chance, but ask for a clear timeline on how he wants to move forward. Without clarity you might end up wasting more time. His family should also be on the same page with his plans.