Marrying a doctor as a Mechanical Engineer

[Shilpa]

I'm a 34‑year‑old male, divorced, working as a Mechanical Engineer at BARC.

My first marriage lasted just 17 days because my ex‑wife, a CA, was a pseudo‑feminist who stuck to the 'My money is my money' mindset. Parental interference also added to the strain.

Two years after the divorce I started looking again and got in touch with a 36‑year‑old divorced doctor who runs her own practice. Her first marriage ended after 3 years due to her husband's alcoholism.

We've had good conversations. She says she's busy building her private practice, while I have a regular 9‑to‑5 job.

Are there any successful second marriages between engineers and doctors? Any specific questions I should ask or red flags to watch out for?

[Sonal]

Sorry, only 17 days? Didn't you discuss finances before tying the knot? By the way, I also work at BARC.

[Priya]

I'm not exactly the demographic you're targeting, but my advice is to make sure both of you are entering this second relationship deliberately and are fully committed to the journey. Also, be certain she's genuinely interested in you. Apart from that, just go with the flow.

[Sangeeta]

Divorcee doctor, 36 M? Really??

[Farhan]

Only 17 days?! How much family interference could happen in just 17 days? And who starts sharing expenses that quickly? It looks like an arranged marriage, and building trust takes time.

More than checking compatibility, I hope you've done some introspection, maybe counselling, and identified areas you need to work on. Have honest discussions with her about expectations. Also, doctors have hectic schedules – make sure you've considered that.

[Prakash]

My first marriage lasted just 17 days because my wife, a CA, was a pseudo‑feminist who stuck to the 'My money is my money' mindset, and my parents kept interfering.

And you, Mr Engineer, didn't discuss that before marriage?

Are there any successful second marriages between engineers and doctors? Any specific questions I should ask or red flags?

It's a strange way to ask – you're assuming the professions affect the success rate. You could simply ask how successful second marriages are in general, not tie it to jobs.

Anyway, to answer you: second marriages generally have a lower success rate than first ones.

[Alok]

Most doctors are good people; they're busy and don't waste time on Instagram nonsense.

My engineering friend is married to a doctor; she isn't demanding about time and prefers a peaceful life.

Talk to her, understand her lifestyle and expectations.

[Rekha]

I'm in business and currently in advanced talks with a doctor, Ms. She opened her own nursing home after 1‑2 years of work.

Since she runs her own practice, you'll need to discuss her working hours. Doctors usually have hectic schedules, so you'll have to figure out how to manage that.

Mutual interests and compatibility are crucial.

[Latha]

She'll probably be too busy to support a family – I've seen cases like that. Make sure you clear everything before marriage, especially how much time she can spare for the family.

[Hardik]

I dated a doctor for a few years; it was fine while we were together, so there's no harm in giving it a try.

[Naveen]

Why do you want to marry someone older than you? Look for someone 3‑4 years younger; age gaps can cause compatibility issues later.