Handling LDR after marriage

[Rishi]

My husband (33M) and I (29F) got married in 2023 after two years of dating. The best part is that nothing really changed after the wedding – the honeymoon vibe is still there and we never get bored of each other. We love spending time together more than hanging out with friends or family; we're literally each other's favourite person.

Seeing many people (even my parents) stuck in terrible relationships – hating their partners, insulting them in front of others, being insecure, lying, cheating – makes me even more grateful for what we have.

But life isn't that simple. I have a full‑time job that I enjoy and am doing well in. My husband used to run his manufacturing business in the same city, but it didn't work out, so he had to shift his base to another city. Now we've been in a long‑distance marriage for the past year.

His new location is remote, and I can't find any work there, so the only way I could stay with him is a work‑from‑home remote role. My current job is great, with good recognition and promotions.

We only get to meet for 5‑6 days every two weeks, and most of the time he travels to me because we have a cosy home here that he loves. It's almost a 10‑hour journey for him and it's exhausting. He never complains, but I can feel the strain. We video‑call for hours every evening, but it's not the same. We miss each other all the time.

What makes me anxious is not being able to spend my time with the one person who matters most to me.

We're planning to try for a baby next year, which will complicate things. I might have to move in with my in‑laws or my parents, or continue living alone – none of which I like. His work schedule might become flexible after 1‑2 years, letting him manage the factory remotely, but that's a big 'maybe'.

I'm okay most days and keep myself busy with work. Weekends are the worst – I feel lonely and hollow, especially after remembering how great it felt living with him.

Just a rant about how unfair life can be. People who hate each other are forced to live together, while those who genuinely like each other are forced apart. Does anyone really get to be happy?

Has anyone been through something similar? Does it get better or worse with time?

[Ira]

It's wonderful to see such a healthy relationship. No advice needed, just sending my best wishes for you to get everything you hope for.

[Keerthi]

If you're planning to start a family, please sort out the LDR first. Pregnancy, postpartum, raising kids all need your partner's support. Can you do it alone? Maybe. Is it easy? No way. You'll miss each other a lot and it could eventually cause issues.

[Sunita]

Long absences every year are really tough, especially the first few weeks. That feeling of hollowness won't just disappear. Try turning it into excitement for the next meeting. Spend time with family or friends so you have other emotional support. Keep the connection alive with video calls, texts, or even writing a little note for him. Weekends will be harder, so plan activities for those days and keep a light schedule. Avoid just lying in bed scrolling all day.

[Avni]

It's wonderful that you're managing your relationship so well and seem to have a healthy marriage. Use this period to discover yourself – pick up hobbies and make new friends whenever you have free time. Life keeps changing, nothing stays the same, so make the most of this phase.

Enjoy the freedom of living alone and loving yourself. Even though I love my husband, I still miss my alone time; it gives me a bit of peace. I used to share a flat with flatmates, but I always liked having my own room, and I still do.

Every marriage is unique. As you become more stable, your priorities shift and you both evolve.

[Raghav]

I think you both need to sort out the options and be clear about priorities. Your husband moving back to you right away seems unlikely, so you have a few paths:

1. Stay apart longer, waiting for a chance for him to return.
2. You move to his place and become a housewife.
3. Both of you look for new jobs and relocate together, building a family where there are opportunities for both.

If you want to keep your home and focus on your career, and there's a chance he can come back later, go with option 1.

If you're keen on having a baby soon and don't want to put your career on hold, option 2 might fit. Think about whether his current location is bad for you only career‑wise or in general. After the baby, do you plan to return to work quickly or stay at home for a few years? Can you live in his town for a while, raise the child, and later move when better opportunities appear? Consider how rural the place is, how far it is from where you are now, whether you'd like living there, if it's child‑friendly, and your long‑term career plans.

Personally I'd lean towards option 3. If the place has zero opportunities for me, I'd prefer us to relocate together to a city that suits both of us. Rural areas can be quite conservative, which might be a cultural fit issue. Even if I plan to take a break from work next year, having the option to get back later is important, especially since there's no pregnancy yet. Both partners should have a chance to build a life where they're happy; moving just for him to a place you don't like can create financial and social dependence and imbalance in the marriage.

Since you said you're thinking of a baby next year, it's not super urgent. Maybe you could both relocate. Can he find a different job in a more urban area where you'd also be happy and find work? Or could he talk to his current employer about switching locations again in the near future? I know you miss him now, but investing time to choose a location carefully could give you a more durable solution.