Why is grooming & molestation of baby boys seen as normal at home?

[Rekha]

I'm reposting because my earlier try got removed for not starting with a question, and maybe it sounded a bit insensitive. I want to hear people's views on a so‑called "culturally accepted" abuse that often goes unchecked.

Let me explain when it happens: usually when the child is just a baby. You'll see elderly grandmothers – mostly on the dad's side – touching a baby boy's penis, calling it weird names like "tun tun" or "ding ding" while he's being diaper‑trained or just "airing out" without pants. And no, it's not an olive‑oil massage. They literally play with it, wiggle it, press on it and make jokes.

They even teach these tiny kids odd slang for body parts, like calling breasts "bu bu".

This isn't just "playing", it's definitely not innocent. It's gross, and the fact that it's a regular part of many homes is why we need to talk about it.

[Malini]

An actual woman found your last post funny and was laughing.

I hate that men getting raped or child SA is so normalised or joked about.

[Omkar]

What? This is the first time I'm hearing about something like this. I've never seen or experienced it around me, so I can't say how "normalised" it is everywhere. But if it's really happening, it's disgusting. There's no excuse for that kind of behaviour, especially with children.

[Anand]

Oh god, this is actually the first time someone has said something that left me speechless. I've always felt gross, disgusted and just uncomfortable with this behaviour. I don't know why they do it – it's definitely creepy.

[Anjali]

Women are seen as objects and therefore expected to be 'pure'. Their rape and assault isn't treated as a violation of their agency but as an attack on the honour of the patriarch they belong to. That's why people rush to use statutory‑rape laws against a girl's boyfriend even when the sex was consensual.

Men aren't owned by a patriarch the way women are, so society doesn't give much thought to assaults on them.

That's why tearing down patriarchy benefits men too.

[Yash]

Oh man, it reminded me of one 'mousi' – in her case she did the same with girls and now she always has opinions about every one of our breasts. It's so weird, honestly, and we're made to feel like we're overreacting.

[Siddharth]

Hmm, I've noticed it too and it feels creepy. Just hate it.

[Amrita]

What the fuck? I have never seen this before.

[Vidya]

Hmm... I have a simple rule for everyone around my baby: 'If it's not okay for us, it's not okay for the baby either.'

[Pooja]

Wtf!! Never heard of this shit!

That's horrible!

[Sneha]

Ew! How can this be normal? I haven't seen it around me. Maybe most of my friends and family, and their babies, live away from big joint families. Is this something that only happens in joint‑family settings?