Understanding my attraction to older men (18F)

[Rekha]

I'm still quite young and I've always felt drawn to older men, sometimes even up to 45. I can't quite figure out why I'm not into guys my own age. Maybe it's past experiences or some trauma, maybe something else. There's always been this spark with older men. But I haven't actually been with one in real life because where I live most men are married by the time they hit 30.

I'm also confused whether this is about 'daddy issues' or not. My dad does love me a lot, but we don't really talk or spend much time together; it often feels awkward when we do. Still, he shows his love in his own way.

What I do know is that the comfort I feel around older men is something I've never found with guys my age. But it's not easy—most older men I meet treat me like a passing fancy or look at me with lust, which is not what I'm after.

All of this feels overwhelming and I don't know what to make of it or what I should do.

[Ravi]

Experience gives off an aura that's hard to resist.

[Ramesh]

Feeling attracted to older people is quite normal; men also find older women appealing. But it turns predatory when the older person starts reciprocating. A healthy 30‑year‑old shouldn't be chasing an 18‑year‑old; it's usually just a phase that will pass. Please stay away from that path—I learned it the hard way.

[Aryan]

Nice to hear that... now I can think about growing old peacefully.

[Akbar]

You're probably attracted to the idea of maturity and stability, not older men per se. The reality is most of them won't take you seriously and will see you as something temporary, and you're already noticing that.

[Rupali]

Posting this might bring a lot of unwanted attention your way.

[Dhruv]

Sounds like some daddy issues.

[Bhavesh]

It's not always perfect or ideal. I'm dating a guy who's five years older, and we have totally different daily routines and are at very different life stages. He's fine with it, but I find myself thinking about it a lot.

[Swati]

Brace yourself for creepy DMs after this.

[Aishwarya]

Your dad does love you, but you both don't talk much and it feels awkward when you do. He shows love in his own way. That's why you're drawn to the sense of safety, maturity, care and attention older men seem to offer—you want that father‑like care. It's normal to have these feelings, and it does sound like a version of daddy issues.

Remember, what you're really after is the comfort feeling. It's something you can get from a short‑term fling or a brief relationship with any older guy. You'll need to work on that inner child part, because many men will try to take advantage of that feeling. Focus on healing yourself and you'll start making smarter choices. I've been through the same phase before.

[Neha]

Cheeni Papa?