I've met this boy a few times – five times in total. We've already talked about many parts of our lives and I feel we match on a lot of things: interests, childhood, how we grew up, lifestyle, etc. One of the meetings was at his house with both our parents present. We also chat on WhatsApp. He replies nicely but at his own pace, being a busy corporate guy. His tone is usually very business‑like. I think I'm more emotionally invested from day one than he is. I've never met anyone with so many things in common with me. Now he messaged me saying he may need a few more meetings "before giving a Yes or No". My parents are wondering why he hasn't decided yet, and I feel like I'm the only one thinking he's "the one" since day one. Should I give an ultimatum at the next meeting?
Listen to your own feelings and write down what you observe. Ask yourself if you're truly okay with everything. If the answer is no, maybe don't go ahead with the marriage. I told a friend the same thing – she listed all her doubts, got married anyway, and now she's crying because her husband's family behaviour changed. She faced the same early on. So think carefully; if you're still confused, write down what's going on in your mind, reflect, and then make a decision.
Ignore this man for now. If he reaches out later, you can decide whether to reply.
I went through a similar situation but with the roles swapped. I was pretty sure about her, while she seemed unsure and her replies were infrequent. Giving an ultimatum usually backfires and can make the other person pull away. Why try to force a decision? Let him take his own time. If you want someone to commit, let him do it with full conviction.
More meetings are fine, but if someone is still unsure it might mean they're not that into you and are trying to convince themselves. I don't have a perfect solution, but if I were you I wouldn't issue an ultimatum. Keep your emotions in check and don't get overly attached until there's a clear commitment. Many of us, including me, have invested heavily only to find the other side being more pragmatic, which creates problems.
Are you ready to say YES with full conviction?
I think the more meetings you have, the better – at least before the roka ceremony.
Most likely he isn't sure about you and doesn't feel a strong attraction, which is why he talks in a very formal, business‑like way and wants more meetings to see if something develops.
At this stage it could end in disappointment and heartbreak, so don't keep high hopes on this match. Take care.