I work in a corporate job and my brother runs his own business. For local deliveries he often sends me QR codes from apps like Porter or similar and asks me to pay. I never minded because we're family, so I just paid and didn't keep a record.
A few days ago he bought a Royal Enfield bike for about ₹3 lakh in cash. That didn't sit well with me given the current economic climate – stock market down, LPG shortage and all.
Out of curiosity I added up all the payments I've made for his deliveries in the past year and it totals over ₹1.6 lakh. That number really surprised me.
Now I'm torn. I've never asked for the money back, but I feel a bit taken for granted. Is it wrong to ask him to return at least part of it now, or should I just let it go since I never raised the issue before?
Now he can handle deliveries himself and won't send you QR codes.
I'd suggest not bringing it up now and stop paying any more. Just tell him you've started a new investment or something. If he could afford a ₹3L bike, he probably doesn't need your help. No need to mention the past payments unless you really need the cash. I wouldn't recommend asking for it back – it's your brother after all.
Why are you covering his business expenses? Where does family factor in? Do you have any stake in his business?
I've been there. Stop helping, that's it. You're being taken for granted. He needs to stand on his own feet.
What's done is done... no point thinking about giving it back.
Stop paying in the future. There's no point asking for the money back.
I've seen this before – one brother helps because the other is short on cash, then a few months later he splurges on something he wants, ignoring the need. If you want to help, do it wholeheartedly without expecting anything back. Trying to control his choices isn't right. He has his own wants; you can simply cut back your support since he can afford his own expenses.
Acting in anger only unsettles yourself. What you really want isn't the cash but to teach your brother the value of money. Asking for it back now could damage your relationship. That said, you're not wrong – he should have repaid you before buying a new bike. In your place I'd stop covering his expenses. You can tell him you can't afford to keep paying, or simply say you're facing financial constraints.
You're not in the wrong – helping is fine, but unintentionally funding his business is different. Keep it simple: let him know you've added up the amount and need repayment from now on. If he's reasonable he'll understand; if not, you'll know where he stands.