I met this girl through an arranged marriage setup and we really connected. Our families were also on board with the idea of us getting married. But then she told me about her past - she was in another arranged marriage situation for 4 months, and it was pretty bad. The guy was abusive, had substance issues, and they had unprotected sex, which led to a pregnancy. She went through an abortion alone after ending things with him. Ever since I found out, I've been feeling really conflicted. It's not just that she had a past relationship, but the whole pregnancy and abortion thing that's got me struggling to process, and it's changed the way I see her.
Honestly, if you can accept her past and not hold it against her, then go for it. But if you think you won't be able to get over it, it's better to step away now rather than later.
Don't go ahead with it, simple as that. In arranged marriages, it's okay to have certain expectations, and you should stick to them. Also, I'd suggest verifying her story through a private investigator, because some people do lie.
To be honest, this has changed the way I see her. It's better if you just step away now. I feel bad for her, but people are rushing into things.
Don't go ahead with it.
She didn't do anything wrong, really - these things just happen. Unfortunately, women often have to deal with the consequences, while men get to walk away without any repercussions. That being said, your feelings are valid too, and neither of you should be judged. You might feel resentful towards her, and if you guys try to have kids later, you might keep thinking about this incident. You don't want to live with that fear forever. It's probably better to move on - I'm sure there's someone out there who's had similar experiences and won't be bothered by her past.
If you're posting about this, it means you can't get over it. Don't ruin both your lives - just move on. Kudos to her for being honest, though.
Since you're feeling so strongly about this, it's probably best if you don't move forward. It's for the best for both of you.
There are a few things to consider here: be grateful that she was honest with you about her past before the marriage - a lot of people hide this kind of stuff. Try to understand if there's anything else she hasn't shared yet. I won't tell you what to do, but just make an informed decision after talking to people you trust - your close friends and family. They'll look out for you, not strangers online who don't know you. Whatever you decide, just make sure you won't regret it later - that'll affect everything you do. Also, keep in mind that abortions can sometimes make it harder to get pregnant in the future, so if you do decide to go ahead, get some medical advice from a good doctor.
There's a saying that fits situations like this. Life is simple if you make simple choices.
The crazy thing is that all this happened in just 4 months of an arranged marriage setup. What she's been through is terrible, and I hope no one has to go through that. That being said, you're not wrong to feel the way you do. If you have any doubts, don't go ahead. We all have expectations, and it's okay to stick to them as long as they're not unrealistic or superficial.