I'm not sure if I'm overreacting, but today at the gym totally ruined my mood. I've been trying to stay consistent with my workouts and focus on fat loss, but the environment is getting to me. There are always guys watching me, like they're judging my form or just staring for no reason. It makes me feel so self‑conscious, especially since I'm still learning.
What really got me was when I was in the middle of my set of single‑arm rows – I'd finished one arm and was about to switch to the other, right in front of the bench – and someone tried to take the bench without even asking. I had to tell him I'm using it, and it just made everything feel worse.
Also, some men keep questioning how much I can lift, saying things like "of course you won't be doing 40 kgs." It's so frustrating and it just drags me down.
I push myself to go to the gym even when I don't feel like it, and stuff like this makes me feel low and uncomfortable. I don't want to quit, but I also don't want to feel like this every time I go.
Has anyone else faced this? How do you deal with it?
Speak up. They're obnoxious, but you have to be vocal about it otherwise it will keep affecting you.
Lift for yourself, not for others. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Be confident. If you're using a bench, put a towel over it so people know it's occupied.
If you're unsure about your form, ask your trainer or check YouTube.
You look very beautiful, which is probably why some men can't stop looking.
Just ignore them, and if they keep doing it, speak up or complain to the manager or gym owner. Sorry you have to deal with this. The gym should be a free space for everyone, and people like these make it worse.
Unfortunately, many Indian men lack basic conversation skills or manners. Their idea of striking up a chat with women is just staring or offering unsolicited gym advice.
I'm really proud of you. This journey isn't easy and I respect that you're staying consistent.
You have two options:
1. Speak up – ask them to stop.
2. Stay in your own space with headphones.
I'd suggest the first option.
All the best, I'm rooting for you :)
Many people are just clueless and not worth your time. My advice, which I've seen work, is to put on headphones and ignore everything else. It's just you and your workout. Wearing a cap can help too.
I'm a guy and also an introvert, and I face almost the same issues, just without the staring. I know how it feels when someone glances at you while you're exercising – my mind immediately starts wondering if I'm doing it wrong or if my form is off. What works for me is to stare at the floor or look into oblivion, finish the set, and keep my head down until I'm done for the day. It's helped a lot. Earphones also block the unnecessary chatter.
This is sadly very common and super frustrating. The best thing is to go into ignore mode with headphones on and focus on your workout. Those comments about how much you can lift? Ignore them – good form matters more than ego‑lifting. Remember, you deserve to be there as much as anyone else; don't let a few gym bros ruin your consistency.
1. Earphones/headphones – if you can't hear what others are saying, it's a lot easier to stay focused.
2. No engagement – don't acknowledge the guys who bother you; ignorance really is bliss.
3. Confidence is key – do any exercise with any weight, girl, be bold.
This isn't a competition; we're all physically different.
With time, people move on if you don't give them attention.
Also, speak up for yourself: I'm using this bench, I'm using these dumbbells. Most people leave confident women alone.
All of this comes from experience.
Start using a towel and keep a water bottle near the machines you're using.
Civic sense and politeness are still rare in India, so unfortunately we have to deal with such people. It's not only women who get stared at – guys also face judgment and stares from other men in the gym.
Earphones and a focused face usually keep people away. I'm a guy and I do the same.