I've known this guy for years - we're gym buddies. He was a virgin before marriage. Last year they met through an arranged‑marriage setup; she told him she was also a virgin. Both work in IT in the same city, looked good together, and they tied the knot just four months after meeting. They seemed happy, posting sweet status updates, even went to Europe for their honeymoon. I thought he'd found his match and was thrilled for him.
In the last three‑four months, the lovey‑dovey posts stopped and they rarely mentioned each other. Last week he told me they're probably heading for divorce. I asked what happened. He said he saw her chats with a mutual friend about an ex who was in town. He tried to check older chats but they were deleted. He opened a locked folder in her gallery and found thousands of intimate pictures and videos with three ex‑boyfriends. He confronted her; she first denied it and demanded her phone back aggressively. He kept scrolling and it was clear she'd also lied about her physical past - there were videos of intercourse and oral sex.
She broke down, apologized. He felt betrayed and now finds her disgusting; even sleeping next to her feels gross, so he's moved to the next room. He's anxious, thought about cheating to get back at her but said that's not him - sex isn't casual for him, so divorce is the only option. He wishes he'd known when she didn't bleed the first night. He's avoided premarital sex all his life, even when opportunities came. He says he can't trust any woman again.
I'm not sure how to console him. Any ideas on helping him move on? I'm thinking of planning a boys' trip once the divorce is finalised.
The lengths some girls go to hide things! It's a scary world.
Give him a week after the divorce before jumping into anything. Meet him regularly and then plan a boys' trip. Nothing beats an all‑boys vibe.
It's truly a terrifying experience to go through.
Once an OG rapper said, "Chako chako chako, kuch fresh nahi milta... koi first‑hand nahi milta."
Your friend has made the right decision.
Usually the past doesn't matter if someone has completely moved on - socially, physically and emotionally. Here, the issue is that she hid her past, kept the memories and still thinks about her ex. A marriage built on a lie is bound to end.
I'm praying for the poor guy and hope he documents everything. I'm not sure there's any legal remedy for lying or marrying on false facts, but that's why people ask for honesty before marriage. Some think lies never catch up, but this girl ruined an innocent man's life. I just hope he doesn't turn into a worse person because of one deceitful person.
That's so messed up. Take care of your friend, man.
Which city? Bangalore?
It's not the past that bothers me. The fact that she lied, kept it hidden and stored thousands of photos in a locked folder is a huge red flag.
I don't get why people aren't upfront about their past in arranged marriages. I don't think I'll ever marry a stranger who hides things like that.