My brother is 30 years old and he's looking for an arranged marriage on Shadi.com Premium. He recently got matched with a 27‑year‑old girl who works in finance and earns about 36 lpa, while my brother earns 40 lpa. She's well‑educated, we met her eight times over three months after talking for two months. They seem compatible; she's kind, down‑to‑earth, and easy to talk to. I've met her once too.
Her mother is a high‑court advocate and her father is a senior railway director, but the parents are separated. Her mother later remarried a Muslim man. The girl has no relationship with her step‑father and doesn't like him; she's close to her mother and biological dad. She's a practising Hindu, as are her parents. She told my brother she has no ties with her mom's husband.
My brother was fine with that. After six months of talking, she told her mom about him, and her mom said they'd decide after meeting, but if he likes the girl it's fine. My brother informed our parents; they liked the girl's photo and education but immediately rejected her after learning about her background.
Now my brother is confused about what to do because he does like her to some extent. Our parents gave no other reason to reject her.
I don't know, six months isn't enough to know everything, but the family dynamics seem quite complex, so it might be better to avoid, in my opinion. He's only 30 and won't run out of options until at least 32‑33 in this market.
There's nothing wrong with the girl; her parents' separation isn't her fault. However, another angle is that it's hard to tell if a possibly dysfunctional family has affected her, and six months is a short time to know that.
That's why you check with each other's families early, not after you've spent days, weeks or months connecting with a prospect. He can either try to turn this into a love marriage by convincing his family, or move on. The chance that she'll be fully accepted is slim.
Don't overcomplicate it; if he likes her, there's no point second‑guessing himself.
A good mother‑in‑law can ruin a man's life; it ruined my cousin's marriage. Think about how a bad MIL can affect someone's life. I'd advise you, bro, to step aside because she comes from a dysfunctional family.
When did the girl's mother remarry?
Yes, the family background is complex. Patterns may not show up right away. Hiring an investigator for two months could be worth it.
He met her eight times, got emotionally involved, and now telling the parents is a big mistake in an arranged marriage.
A Muslim man is also a human. No need to make it sound like her mother married an alien, even though that would be cooler.
Girl, many people think it's okay to hold others accountable for their own views. At the end of the day, this marriage will mainly be between your brother and the girl. Often, parents are less sensible than their kids. So what if the mother divorced and remarried? She may have her reasons. Unless her husband is a known terrorist, I don't see the issue.