19f went to my boyfriend's house for 3 days with his 2 friends and felt completely exhausted. The people are nice, but wow, the family is so orthodox I could barely cope. I'm not caste‑ist, but his family follows a strict Brahmin tradition, while my own Brahmin family is more relaxed and understanding. They come from a remote town in the Western Ghats of Karnataka and are very traditional. They don't eat any spice; we love spicy food, and even the pickles that should be hot taste sweet to them. They avoid onion and garlic, and even my grandparents don't eat them. They don't force their diet on me – I can eat what I want – but they worship a swami very blindly, which feels scary and a bit weird.
I think this sounds less like "I hate his family" and more like you experienced a massive culture shock. Some orthodox Brahmin households, especially from smaller towns, can be extremely traditional or religious in ways that feel suffocating if you didn't grow up with that. And the bigger issue is whether your boyfriend expects you to eventually adapt fully to that lifestyle in the long run. Visiting for 3 days and feeling drained is one thing, but marrying into a family where you constantly feel judged, restricted, or out of place is a whole different reality.
You say you're not caste‑ist but call his family 'orthodox Brahmin'. That's a bit of a paradox – they're just two different families with different lifestyles, plain and simple.
Why did you feel like dying? Yes, the families are different, but how does that affect you personally?
When you're in their world, try to go with the flow – or just step out if it's too much for you.