Hey I'm a 25 year old girl and my boyfriend and I have been together for over two years now. I knew he had a bit of a history with dating apps and all that before we met. For context, he's my first serious relationship, but I never really asked him about his past relationships. I knew he had been with a few girls before me. He's really a great guy and has been taking care of me amazingly well for the past two years. Recently I stumbled upon one of his exes on LinkedIn and since then I've been feeling really down. Honestly, it's because she's really beautiful and successful, and now she's settled abroad. They had a pretty toxic relationship that ended badly, but he's assured me multiple times that he's not interested in her anymore. Since I'm his first serious relationship and he's not mine, it's been bothering me to think about him being with someone else. How do I get over this insecurity?
Stop looking for problems where there aren't any. His past is his own, and you can't judge him on that. Judge him on how he behaves with you, and that's where you'll find your answers. If you look for problems, you'll find them
Don't be like those guys on reddit who make a big deal about nothing. You said he treats you well, so his past doesn't matter
It's possible that his past experiences have made him a better person, so if he's treating you well now and you trust him, just let things be. It's hard to find a good partner these days, so appreciate what you have. If it really bothers you, talk to him about it
He's with you now, so that's what matters. You should check out the retro jealousy sub, it might help you
if he treats you well, nothing else matters. We all have pasts and we learn from our mistakes
With love and concern, I think you need to work on your self esteem and insecurities. He seems like a great guy who always reassures you. It's okay to feel a bit insecure since he's not your first, but his past is gone and your relationship is what matters now. If you feel confident and worthy, these things won't bother you because you know you deserve the best
Whenever a guy argues with me that women don't accept men's pasts, I'm going to show him this conversation. Thanks girls!
I think you've got an anxious attachment style going on, just like me, and it's causing a bunch of insecurities. You need to work on not letting all this stuff get to you if the guy is actually a good person. There are plenty of YouTube videos that can help you with this, so maybe check those out. Also, consider getting help from a therapist who's properly qualified - don't just go to anyone.
I'm going to say something different here. Having a lot of casual relationships can be normal if the person is healthy and doing it for the right reasons. But sometimes it's because of deeper issues. Let me tell you a story. I know a guy who was in a serious relationship that turned toxic. He was a mess and had low self esteem, so he started hooking up with girls to feel better about himself. He didn't realize he was doing it for validation, but he did. Then he met a great girl and fell in love, and he stopped all that. But later on, he started cheating on her because his ego got too big and he needed validation again. The point is, not everyone with a shady past has the same amount of baggage, but some people do. They're not bad people, they're just broken and don't know it
I don't think I agree with what's being said here. Someone's past can tell you a lot about them, and I'd definitely care if my boyfriend had been with a lot of people. It's not about being insecure, it's just something that matters to me. I think you should've had this conversation before getting together, though. Breaking up over it now would be silly, so try to make it work. One thing you could do is think about how often he's mentioned other women he's been with in the past couple of years - that might give you some insight.