Today my guy friend said something weird. We were chatting about clothes and I mentioned my parents are strict and don't let me wear fancy or tight outfits. Suddenly he said, 'Your future husband will be lucky.' I asked, 'What does that even have to do with anything?' He went on saying that because my parents are strict, I think before I act, I don't wear revealing clothes, and I have 'good morals.' He added that even when I start earning and get freedom, my parents have 'engrained those morals' in me, so I 'won't do anything wrong.' He even called me pure. I was too confused to reply and just let it go. Later I kept thinking about it – what was he trying to imply? Strict parents don't automatically make someone pure. Sometimes they raise good liars. I know I could do things I've never done before, but I usually avoid them because I don't want trouble while I still live with them, plus my anxiety and overthinking. I'm 20, never dated, not because I'm innocent, but because I want something serious, not casual. If I wanted, I could have done all that without my parents getting suspicious. So when he called me pure, what exactly was he saying? That women who wear what they want, date freely, or live independently are somehow 'impure'? That's how it sounded, and it feels disrespectful toward women who choose their own path.
Cut him off.
Is it really a compliment when you shield someone from their own insecurities just to make them feel special, while you sacrifice your own self‑worth? Your friend's future wife will be stuck with an insecure man‑baby. Tell him that. Some men act like our honour lives in our clothes, but actually they treat it like a toy.
Definitely not. It's hardly ever a genuine compliment. Please stay away from that kind of puritan police for your own safety and sanity.
Girl, if you don't cut him off right now, he'll ruin your life.
Exactly. You understand what he meant and why he thinks it's a compliment, but it's not a compliment for you because you don't share his value system. Tell him to take a break from the internet; it's feeding his controlling and impure mindset. If he keeps thinking like that, he won't have a lucky future wife. Your worth isn't defined by the impossible standards people try to force on women.
That's typical uncle behaviour, and people don't stay the same.
Girl, end that friendship. Guys like him think women exist to serve men. Your choice of clothing isn't about you; he frames it as affecting your 'future husband.' It's pure male‑supremacy mentality.
He thinks being controlled in the name of morality is a good thing, so he calls it a compliment. He doesn't realise it isn't a compliment at all. Tell him that if clothing were such a big issue, then little kids—boys and girls—wouldn't be targeted by sexual predators.
I'm glad that at 20 you're thinking critically about the men around you and their words and actions! He seems like a soft misogynist.
Tell him you consider porn‑added losers impure too. Bet his reaction would be priceless.