Okay, I'll just say it straight because my mind has been going in circles.
I'm a 22‑year‑old female. I studied in an all‑girls school and then a women's college, so I had almost zero interaction with men until recently. Now I'm doing my MBA in a co‑ed college and talking to guys for the first time.
I feel exhausted and annoyed talking to most of them. It's like they don't know how to talk to women. I'm not sure if I'm being too harsh, but it just feels off. There's only one guy who talks well and is decent, yet I don't feel anything for him.
With women it's a completely different story. I enjoy chatting with them – they seem more emotionally aware and interesting, I can't quite put it into words.
I've also noticed something about compliments. I get them from both men and women, but my reaction is very different.
When a woman compliments me, I get butterflies and keep thinking about it later. When a man compliments me, I feel uncomfortable or get a weird ick feeling.
At first I thought it was just the way men speak versus women – women sound more genuine and soft, men sound awkward. Now I'm not so sure.
Recently I realized another thing: when I watch romantic or intimate scenes, I'm attracted to the woman, not the man. Focusing on the man actually turns me off.
I've never had a proper crush on a guy. I used to think it was because I didn't interact with them much, but even after talking to them I still feel nothing.
So I'm wondering – am I into women?
Or is it simply because I grew up around women and feel more comfortable with them? Or maybe I just haven't met the "right" guy (I hate thinking that, but it still pops up).
I really don't know what's happening and it's messing with my head.
Has anyone else felt like this? How did you figure it out?
You mentioned that you feel attracted to women in romantic or intimate scenes – that's a strong hint you're into women. Take it easy; sexuality can be confusing.
Just because you're around men doesn't mean you'll be attracted to them. You don't need a label right now, but from what you've described, you're into women.
Haha, it's fine – welcome to the club!
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Not directly related, but u/batwoman_2017, my post got removed.
I was also confused about my sexuality at first. I felt more attraction to women, then later I started feeling attracted to men as well, and realized I'm bisexual.
Your description points to you being into women. It's fine to overthink sexuality, but eventually you'll know what you're into. Don't stress.
I went through a lot of heartbreak, so I decided to embrace being a lesbian. I'm now a strong lesbian‑rights activist. Only lesbian friends, please DM me.
If women make you feel something and men don't, that's the answer right in front of you. No need to overcomplicate it.
You might be, but the only way to know for sure is to let it sit and not rush to label it. The answers will come when you're ready. Wishing you the best.
Sounds like you're bi‑curious. Explore at your own pace, don't hurt yourself or others, and you'll be okay.
Cheers!
I have a lot to say about this, but I'll keep it short.
One big reason I dislike the idea of schools or colleges that cater to only one gender is that students from all‑girls or all‑boys institutions often become either extremely awkward around the opposite sex or overly eager and say the wrong thing. Why keep them separate when they're part of the same society? The mindset behind it is hard to understand.
That said, here's my take on your situation.
Not being attracted to men doesn't automatically make you lesbian. It could point to asexuality, or simply that the men you've met don't appeal to you. Women tend to give compliments that feel genuine; men often compliment with an ulterior motive, like trying to get closer to you. I blush when a woman compliments me, but I usually brush off compliments from men.
Another fact: many straight women watch porn that features women or lesbian scenes, and that doesn't make them gay. They enjoy the visual of a woman being the focus, which can also enhance their own intimacy. A quick search will show more information on this.
Having said all that, it's completely fine if you discover you're gay. Try kissing a woman and you'll get a clearer answer.