TLDR: My old toxic manager, who made my life difficult in 2024, asked me for a job referral after losing his job. I chose not to reply. The lesson is to be kind to people at work because you never know when you might need their help.
Something unexpected happened today. My first‑company manager messaged me on WhatsApp asking how I was. I was confused because I left that company in March 2024, two years ago.
I left because of his toxic behaviour. No matter how good my work was, he always found faults, took credit and insulted me in front of the whole team. I used to come home and cry. I quit after just two months as it was affecting my mental health. It then took me six months to find a new job.
My current company is very supportive and non‑toxic. My skills improved a lot and I even got promoted to a senior role in January.
Today he messaged me again. First he asked how I was, then got to the point: his company laid off the team due to financial issues, he lost his job and asked me to refer him.
Only one thought came to mind – why should I help him? He was the reason for my stress, humiliation and poor mental health. It was my first job and that experience really affected me.
I told him there are no openings. He messaged again asking for help, but I did not reply.
Moral of the story: be humble and respectful to people you work with. You never know when you might need their help in the future.
No one should refer a toxic former coworker. You would lose credibility in the office by referring him and could even put your own job at risk.
I would have sent him this gif that says "Haan Bhai kaise lagi? Aagya swad?".
Jokes apart, try to help him if you can – maybe a connection is hiring in his domain. If not, you can ignore and move on. I know people who hurt us don't want us to help them.
What goes around comes around. I wouldn't have responded to him, at least you did.
Your moral is backwards.
He made you cry, destroyed your mental health for two months, you left, fixed yourself and got promoted. Now he's asking for help after losing his job and you think you should be nicer?
It's not about being kind, it's about setting boundaries. Sometimes people need to face what they did.
More importantly, I'd like to know where you work now, since you said the environment is non‑toxic.
The classic mistake managers make is that they start thinking of themselves as CEOs.
Leaving ethics aside, he simply doesn't fit your organisation's culture, so you should not refer him.
Bro, you could just say, "My company has a great culture and we don't hire toxic people, sorry."
What if he somehow joins as your new manager?
Could be a new script for Dhaarman videos.