My friend (35M) met a girl (30F) through family friends. They live in different cities, so they mostly talked on phone and WhatsApp. In their second meeting, just 2-3 days after they were introduced, my friend asked her about past relationships. She said she had only a casual boyfriend in college, which ended long ago. My friend was fine with that (he's never been in a relationship).
For the next four months they chatted regularly on phone and WhatsApp. Neither the guy asked her again about her past, nor did she bring it up.
Fast forward to this week – their roka ceremony is in two days – and my friend casually brought up the topic of love‑marriage vs arranged‑marriage. That's when the girl finally admitted she had lied about the college boyfriend. She actually had a serious 18‑month relationship that ended about two years ago because the guy was sexting another girl behind her back. When she described how far that relationship went, she went into graphic detail – hand‑job, blowjob, etc.
My friend is upset for three reasons:
1 - She had four months to come clean but waited until the day before roka. He knows she could have told the truth in the second meeting; it would have been uncomfortable, but she had plenty of time.
2 - She showed no guilt and described the sexual stuff in a very casual way, which shocked him.
3 - The ex‑boyfriend still works at the same place as she does.
My friend likes her but isn't head‑over‑heels in love. He's now having second thoughts about the rishta. What should he do?
Edit: She said they stopped just short of intercourse, but he doesn't trust her anymore. It feels like she's trying to salvage the situation with a flimsy lie. He thinks she didn't lie out of nervousness but made a calculated move.
If this is real, I can't understand why she would go into such graphic detail. No one is that clueless to think roka isn't serious; you can still call it off.
This is what happens when the guy is inexperienced but the girl isn't. It can leave him insecure for life. He should consider cancelling the wedding.
Haha... stopped just short of intercourse? Bro, I totally believe you.
Men need to start dumping girls who hide the truth. Have the courage to walk away. Such women aren't fit for a life partnership when the whole relationship is built on lies and secrets.
That's why, as a man, time is your best friend. A lot of girls will reveal themselves if you take things slow and don't rush.
Why is this even a question? Isn't it common sense to not move forward?