I'm a 26 year old guy living in Hyderabad and I come from a regular middle class family. My family has a small business and I also work in the IT sector. Life is pretty okay, we get by without any major issues. Recently my parents started looking for a match for me through the arranged marriage route. Over the last few months I met around four girls. In most cases, the conversations were normal and things seemed to be going in a positive direction from my side. But almost every time, the discussion stopped for one common reason - we don't have our own house yet. Right now we live in a house without owning it or any property in the city. And honestly, I completely understand the concern from the girl's family. If I had a daughter, stability and living arrangements would probably be one of the first things I would think about too. So I don't blame them. What frustrates me a little is the situation at home. Whenever I try to talk seriously with my family about prioritizing buying a house, the conversation quickly ends with things like, 'These things happen when the time is right' or 'Leave it to God.' At the same time, almost all of my friends around me are getting engaged or married now, and sometimes it feels like I'm just stuck in the middle watching everything happen around me. I respect that mindset, but practically speaking, the same reason has now come up multiple times in my marriage discussions. The strange part is that in my extended family, there are already discussions about buying a house for my younger cousin who is still in 12th grade. Meanwhile, I'm the one currently going through the arranged marriage process and facing this issue repeatedly. I'm not angry at anyone. I know everyone is trying their best in their own way. I just feel a bit stuck between practical reality and the 'things will happen when they are meant to' mindset. Has anyone here faced something similar during arranged marriage talks because you didn't have your own house yet? Did it really matter that much in the long run?
Yeah, 75 percent of my matches are like why don't you have a flat in Bangalore even though you have a high salary
Don't buy a house just for the sake of arranged marriage. If you buy a house then you will get rejections because your house is not in a good area or it's a 2 BHK instead of a 3 BHK and so on. If you satisfy all conditions for a home, these people will find other materialistic reasons to reject you. For example, you don't own a car or you have an old car or you are not giving the bride enough gifts and so on. There is no end to all this. To be very honest, you should have very low expectations from arranged marriage.
It's common. It doesn't stop with a house. Assets, vehicle, and many more. There is no end to human greed.
You're 26 with an IT salary and a business family - you're fine. The Hyderabad market is obsessed with assets, but there are sensible families out there who value the person over property
I think this is a very tough time for guys who are earning well and have no flat of their own. I'm a 32 year old guy from Thane, I work in IT, I earn 10 LPA, I have financial issues to manage. So I'm looking for a court marriage and a simple reception. I'm still struggling to buy a flat of my own. I feel that if my partner also earns and assists me then we can build a world of our own, even if it is a simple 1 BHK. But parents these days want a universe. I just wonder how come laborers and watchmen and others are getting married somehow, no offense to them, while the high earning ones are struggling. Is it like a curse?
Tell them you want to buy it as a joint property with your spouse and as per both of your wishes after you marry, assuming you're looking for an earning spouse